So, we deal with life on many different levels. We deal with folks who understand and those who don't. Or something.

This is the point, folks... I was role playing tonight, as I often am wont to do, and I came upon a few realizations.... Those who want to be pittied, create characters that need others to care for them. Those people who want to be self-suficient, create characters that don't need help. Those who desperately want someone to care, create characters who follow the same paths. There may be some of you out there who disagree, but that's okay. You can disagree. You'll just be wrong.

Because (let's say it together folks...) This is MY world and you will ALL pander to my every whim. *smiles sweetly*

Okay, back to reality...

I really am serious when I say that people play characters which accurately portray portions of their personalities.

For those of you who don't role play, or haven't the foggiest idea what I'm getting at... or for those of you who have never RPed online... whatever. The reason folks step into another character is that often they're disatisfied with some portion of their life. That character allows the person to work through the parts of their lives which don't make sense IRL.

I know I'm going to be editing this before I actually post it... so maybe I'll post the other part and then work on this a while... Sound good? Yeah, I think so too. Thanks for being my personal "Yes" men. *grins*

BRB

I have many friends that I role play with online. I started RPing online a little (very little) over three years ago. There are so many people I've seen come in and out of the Lair and various other places I RP in... I've watched the characters, I've spoken with the people behind those characters. I've read them.... both literally and figuratively.

I will tell this point... illustrate this point, by using my own characters as the examples.

When I started RPing online, I was 26, about two weeks away from my 27th birthday. I was still married, and had been a house-bound wife since I married my ex. I had one friend I saw about 8 times a year. If that. I first joined Yahoo Chat in August of 97. I met a world of people who actually spoke to me. I was thrilled.

I hopped into a chat room, unbeknownst to me, that was an RP room. I saw people acting out characters and doing all sorts of interesting things. it was SO cool. I got to watch people interacting in (as Charles puts it) a consequence-free environment. I loved it. And, I was always interested in acting. So, I created my first character.

Her name was BurntTiger. I loved her. She was everything I thought I wanted to be. She was tall, like me. Had red hair, like me. Green gray eyes, like me. She was funny and had a high charisma level... like me. But, she was slender, quick, athletic, vibrant and sexually experienced. Unlike me.

And I loved her. So much. she was the tough side of me. She was that part of me that no one could touch. Cause she was faster, slicker, quicker and smarter than anyone who wanted to keep her down. And the most entertaining (and awing) part, to me, was that she was almost instantly popular. It amazed me.

Hell, the Lair was up for a maximum of three weeks before there was a nightly crowd of regulars. Every night for at least four hours, sometimes six, sometimes more, there would be at least ten people who showed up EVERY night. That number, that popularity grew. quickly.

I'd never experienced anything like that before. I was absolutely amazed.

I've had people tell me that I'm popular. I've had people tell me that I'm loved. That I'm cool. I've never believed it. I mean, cmon, I'm so boxed in by my own beliefs about how the world sees me... *chuckles*

Regardless... before the Lair was up for two months, it was the "happening" place in Yahoo chat. I remember Speckers (Spectre_of_life) telling me the count. *laughs quietly* That was so much fun. He'd tell me... "Yup, we're number one again." *laughs* That was so much fun. To read his excitement. There was, on average, 30 people in the Lair on any given night.

And Tiger was on top of it all. Cool, mellow, laid back, chillin. She was fun and energetic, but she didn't force anyone to behave in any specific way. There were dragons... Sethy and Leri were the most common regs. Then there was Tiger's personal Wolf. *chuckles*

Forcewolf would come in, trot up to Tig and settle down with her, laying his head upon her lap or something. It was wonderful. Whenever I was depressed or sad, my wolf would show up. I would type out the action that I was petting the wolf, and like RL (real life) the worries and stresses would just melt away every time I caressed that cyber fur. *chuckles softly* I miss my wolf.

Regardless... there were a lot more regs. Speckers and I were almost always there together. Spec had his couch, Tig had hers. We'd each claim "victims" for the night. Whoever we were going to tease, torment and play with. All in a positive way. It was just so much fun.

Peachy came in all the time too. Peach Toes. *grins* She'd come in as the Skittle Monster too. And then there was Zoe. *grins* Peachy and Zoe hooked up. They're still together folks. IRL. They're in a solid relationship. And that's just so cool to me.

There was Eternal Guardian... *laughs* And Whisper Wing. And Lordston. God, how I miss Lordston. The King of Stout. *laughs quietly*

And of course, Hubris. Tig was the only one allowed to call him that. Everyone else was required to call him Hope. *grins* HopeHubris. Damn, Hubris is still busy at University in Australia. I haven't heard from him in a couple months. But I'd imagine his class load is real heavy. He was (is) such a brain. *grins* Always amazed me.

*laughs*

People would come in and describe some action which relied on some kind of molecular specifics. If they typed their action or result incorrectly, Hubris would launch into a lecture about the qualities of physics and how energies worked and all that. I loved to listen to him, but I was so far beneath his education level I didn't understand half of what he was talking about.

ANd then, we come to the one person who did more throughout my wreck, than anyone else. (not for lack of trying, I assure you...) Chris. *smiles softly* Damn, I miss that kid so much. I wish to hell I knew his last name, or had his Email addy now, or anything. He went by two names most commonly... Go_Local_H and Local_H_Rules. We called him Local. *grins* He was so effin cool. He'd be 19, goin on 20 now. He lived in New York, if I'm not mistaken.

when the wreck happened, he collected Emails and sent updates and all that, to the entire Lair crowd. All of the Lair-ites got updates on my condition, and such through Mom and Chris.

God forbid any of you have to go through anything even remotely similar to the wreck... but, if you do... I pray you have someone like Local there to keep you informed of everyone's good wishes, of everyone's prayers, of everyone's care and concern. I've yet to meet anyone quite as selfless, cool and concerned as Local. For his age, he was the most mature kid I have ever met.

Anyway... Ahem...

there was Doug. *laughs hard* Oh damn. I remember the first night I met him. And this will stick in my memory for as long as I can possibly remember. He came into the Lair as Buzz Lightyear. *grins brightly* And he was just so cool. He asked Tiger to dance. He was swirling her around the room, dancing and being this debonaire gentleman... and then, he leaned her back in a fantastic dip... and whispered, sensualy, into her ear.... "To Infinity and beyond" *laughs hard*

Damn, I absolutely lost it. I was sitting in my office, with all the boxes of crap surrounding me, my ex asleep in the bedroom, and I was laughing my ass off. Loud.

Doug and I became very good friends. He would come into the Lair as ___Doug__ and he and Tig would talk for hours at a time. He almost always came in wearing his Bear's cap. A ball cap with the Chicago Bears embroidered on it. *smiles tenderly* Tig would grab the hat and keep it from him. Would tease him with it.

Eventually, Doug just gave in and let her have the hat. And ya know what? He was talkin to me, told me that he was gonna send me that hat. He had it IRL. it had been his for ten years. He'd worn it almost daily. I was amazed.

*smiles tenderly* That hat is sitting on my dresser right now. I wear it often. And every time I do, I think of Doug. Of his kindness and tenderness. Of his willingness to listen to me bitch, whine, cry and laugh.

*smiles tenderly* I need to call him again. Which means I need to find my address book. I have four of them. And I know that at least one of them will have his number. I need to call him tomorrow. Remind me to do that, folks.

*smiles softly*

Anyway... There was Zara. *grins brightly* She was just too cool for words. I still RP with her today. She's actually got a diary on diaryland, folks. But it's her IRL diary. She doesn't have a character diary yet. Morgan Zara. If you want to RP with a GOOD Toreador Vampire... she's the best.

And Zora. *chuckles* yes, those are different people. Zorana Dragonkyn was always drinking her FireWyne. And damn, that could be some really potent stuff. Better than the Funky Cold Medina. *grins*

Marius, IceAngel, Xeyli, Rivendell, LadyAlyx, Sterling, DredPirateWesley, Snaekoll, Valor, Cadoras, Ravys, Elric, Eric, Wolf, Elkor, G-Jax, LoneWolf.....

Mmmmmmm. And Luc. *grins* Lucious. Whose name I misspelled all the time... Luscious. *chuckles quietly* And damn... is he ever. *smirks*

Damn, the list just goes on and on. There were so many people I've met, so many characters I've interacted with. so many people who will remain in my heart and soul forever on, just because I've RPed with them.

Hell.... James. God... *sighs quietly*

And Forvalaka.

And Ranger.

And then, there's the new breed. *chuckles* Those I've met over the past year. So many faces, so many characters. And all of them so very precious to me.

So much for talking about why people RP and why they play the characters they do. *chuckles*

I'm tired. I'm filled with positive memories. Wonderful thoughts which swim around in my mind. Memories of Bears caps and Stealers jerseys... of Raven's and Dragons and wizards, mages and Vampires. All surounding me in a sureal world of love and tenderness all tinged with fantasy and falsehood, but so filled with promise, pleasure, life, joy and reality.

If I ever get the Lair built, IRL... there's gonna be a week-long party before the grand opening. And every single reg of the Lair. The new and the old... they'll be there.

Every single one.

Love to you all. I'm swimming in wonderful memories.

Truly.... Peace unto thy hearts.