Okay, have I ever got a topic for you today. Y'all are gonna love me. First, go to this site... AFP

I'll give you time to look it over and possibly bookmark this site.

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Okay. What's your opinion?

*grins wickedly*

You want my honest opinion? Get your teeth sharpened, I'm giving you free reign to chew me out here. *smirks*

I don't think the idea is a bad one. *laughs*

I do think it's quite extremist. I also believe it's a joke. But still... I believe that there are a lot of dangers involved in masterbation. Dangers which people ignore, deny or simply are ignorant of.

Masterbation definately does make one's sheets smell foul and get rather crusty. It does leave an odor on the fingers, vibrator, bottle, pillow... whatever one uses to masterbate with.

Seriously tho, I do agree that there are some negative aspects of masterbation. Specifically habitual masterbaters. I'm not even going to touch the concept of violent masterbation, tho I'm sure there are some out there who are into true self-abuse in the name of "getting off". (pun very much intended)

However, I do think that there are some aspects of the deed which are potentially dangerous to a marriage/relationship. I say this in all honesty. Hell, one of the biggest values of sex in a relationship is to soothe over the rough spots.

The whole making-up after a fight thing. The sudden release of endorphins brought about by climax/orgasm do tend to make the individuals a little more mellow, so that they can then focus on the actual problem between them, rather than the emotional reactions.

I believe that when a couple can separate their sexual experiences from each other, the relationship fades. This is just my opinion, of course.

I know that in my own situation, my ex was not a gentle, kind or tender lover. But, instead of talking about it with me, or trying any of the solutions I came up with, he would get up half an hour early every morning and masterbate before work.

That was emotionally damaging to me, cause I thought he was turned off by me. (low self-esteem there) I asked him about it a couple times, he said his only reason was that he didn't want to wake me up in the morning. *shrugs*

I don't think that was true, cause I would get up with him and offer to "perform my wifely duty". He declined every time.

Just for info sake... I'm forcing myself to write this. I really, really, really don't want to talk about it. My personal sexual exploits are very PERSONAL and private to me. However, I believe they are necessary as explanation for my point of view.

I even went as far as asking him to go to a counselor with me to see if there was something I wasn't doing right. He didn't want to, but during the last year of our marriage, he accquiesced. Didn't do any good, since he wouldn't talk about the sexual relationship with the counselor.

Once, when the counselor asked him about our sexual relations, the ex paused before saying his usual, "It's fine". So, the counselor pressed a little further and the ex admited that he and I only had sex once or twice in each three month period.

The counselor stated that we had to work on that... that if we were having a satisfying sexual relationship, most of the other problems would just go away.

Dunno. The ex had mags that he'd look at all the time. Hell, there were so many, they filled an entire trunk. He had all sorts of mags... fuck-mags I called em. I didn't harrass him about them.

*shrugs*

Maybe I should have.

Anyway, the point I am actually trying to make... His masterbatory habits were extremely damaging to my psyche. I didn't look anything like the chicks in the mags or on the vids.

Every time he asked for a BJ, I gave him one. Unless I was really sick. There were a few times when I had an ear infection. It hurt to open my mouth. Thus... that sorta negated the whole BJ. *shrugs*

There were times when I'd surprise him... wake him with it, ya know. But... well, that brings me to my next point...

Chronic masterbation sets a pattern in the masterbater. It makes climax far more difficult to reach using.... "normal" methods. When deep-throating for 10 minutes won't do anything but hurt the felator's jaw, when only a year previous 2 minutes of the same action granted climax... something has changed.

And, no matter how much a female trains her vaginal muscles, it just ain't gonna feel like a hand. Sorry. It ain't gonna have the same squeeze. It ain't gonna have the same texture or any of that.

The ex was more satisfied doing it himself. The masterbation started first. Then he went into the mags, then the vids, then the other partners. *shrugs*

I believe that it is quite possible for masterbation to be a "gateway sin" as that site said. I don't believe that's the case for EVERYONE. But for a few out there, I think it is.

I know that for many women, myself included, they can not get aroused without a legitimate emotional connection. I believe that women were designed that way.

When a woman is in a relationship, whether marriage or just lovers, if the guy is masterbating, it says to the woman that she isn't enough for him. I'm speaking in extremely general terms here, not specifics. But I believe this is the case for quite a few women in this world.

I believe that mutual masterbation, that performing the deed with the express purpose of arousing one's mate, is fine. It serves a real purpose and is no longer a strictly I'm-doing-this-to-make-myself-feel-good kind of thing. It becomes a part of the love-making.

I do believe that masterbating outside of a relationship is a form of cheating on a future mate. That's just my opinion, and I'm sure it's not shared by more than maybe three other people in this world.

However, I still think it's a form of cheating. I believe that masterbation, auto-erotica, taking-care-of-business, whatever you want to call it, sets a patern for future dis-satisfaction in a relationship.

I also believe that while IN a relationship, if one or both parties are masterbating, their sexual relationship is not good and only getting worse.

I also believe that sex, in any and all of its forms, is not necessary for a successful relationship. However, that belief stems simply from the fact that my own experience with sex has been so dreadfully bad.

Okay, I'm getting so completely and totally sickened by this subject. I hate talking about it. And I really hate having said what I have about my own personal experience.

I personally don't hold out any hope for a satisfying sexual relationship in my future, based solely on past experiences. I don't ever expect someone else to make me... well... I just don't expect satisfaction. It hasn't happened yet and ya can't miss what you've never had.

that's the lie I'm telling myself today. And I thank you for letting me believe whatever lie I want to tell myself. I am comfortable with my denial. And, I don't have anyone to test that theory with, therefore the point is moot.

So, I'm out of here, cause I really, really, really don't want to talk about this anymore.

BUT, I can just imagine the interesting google hits I'm going to get from this particular entry. *rolls her eyes*

peace unto thy heart.

PS. As Sympatico stated, only I would write this much on a subject I don't want to talk about... It's not the subject I don't want to talk about, it's the Jennifer-aspect of the subject I don't like. Talking about sex, masterbation etc doesn't bother me. Telling MY secrets/behaviors/failures bothers me. Just to clarify.