There are a few things I'd like to share with you. This is something you actually might want to print out. These are little tidbits that will give you the opportunity to see that you're not a stupid as you might think!

Question posed to Miss Alabama in the 94 Miss USA contest.

If you could live forever, would you and why?

Her answer:

I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president" -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." -- A congressional candidate in Texas

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new lands, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." -- John Wayne

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their heart through the night, and the next morning, if they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

(And My personal favorite)

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

Feeling smarter yet?