Well, I was going around reading a bunch of diaries this morning... catching up on all the stuff I've missed. *sighs* It's a long and grueling process at times. *chuckles softly* But, I LOVE it to bits.

Regardless, as I was reading Colorful Footwear she pointed out a specific line... "I wish sometimes that I hadn't been his first. You always fall in love with your first."

I like that line, but there is one problem... I don't agree.

My Ex husband was my first. I did not fall in love with him. *smiles softly* Snicker, laugh, guffaw, whatever your heart desires... but it's true. I wasn't in love with him. It was too much work. There was too much pain involved, the emotional kind. And granted, largely self inflicted, but still...

There must be a way I can blame it on him eh?

*chuckles*

Of course, I could talk to Charles and he would tell me that D was just a bad guy and foolish and stupid and the like... That he was an example of extremely low intelligence and the like. *chuckles* But, well....

*looks around herself wondering what her original point was*

Well, hell... that was an interesting tangent.

Let us move on to more fluid thoughts eh?

*grins, winking*

~~~~~~~~~~

I got to talk with the Dark Mage IRL on Sunday night. *grins brightly* That was so incredibly killer. *grins like a little school girl*

It's been the end of November since he and I actually got to spend more than half an hour on the phone. *sighs softly* It was like a piece of me had been brought back. *grins*

So, Thank you, my Ranger, for remembering me, loving me, adoring me, basically treating me the way I shou..... er.... um...... *smirks* Perhaps a little humility is in order here, no?

Regardless... had nearly three hours of conversation with the Dark Mage. That was just so rockin-ly-cool. I've missed him. OF course, I also felt extremely guilty, as he only got about 45 minutes of sleep before having to work all damned day. *winces* Sorry, Ranger.

~~~~~~~~

Ya know, I'm trying to get up the courage to ask for Charles' number. *grins* I want to talk to him, actually hear his voice. I think I'd understand him better (maybe not) if I got to hear his voice for real.

OF course, since I've written this, and Charles reads my diary daily, I have to ask him for his number tonight. *laughs at herself* I seem to paint myself into corners like this all the time. Strange, no?

~~~~~~~

Wow, this entry is more disjointed and bizarre than usual.

Since I've gotten a new comp, I have to go back and RE-bookmark all the cool sites I loved.

See... I was planning on copying all those URLs before I had to switch out comps, but there was a small problem. *pouts* I lost my himem.sys file, remember? I wrote all about that just a few days ago. *sighs longsufferingly* Do I really have to explain everything two and three and twelve times?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OOOOOOOOHHHHh, I'm listening to the Radio and Travis Tritt's "Anymore" just came on.

"Tell me that you didn't say goodbye... Tell me I was dreaming. That you didn't leave me hear to die. You didn't say you didn't love me anymore. It was just my imagination tellin lies. Don't tell me you didn't say good bye."

Damn, powerful song. And the music is just so extremely moving to me. Of course, this means that I'm revealing that I DO listen to Country music. And ya know what folks? I LIKE IT!!! So deal with it. *smirks*

Of course, I also like Jazz, some Regae, Blues, Rock, Metal, Classical, ONE Polka (unless you're talking about Wierd Al Yankovich), Oldies, Classic Rock, Atmosphere, Rock-a-billy, Alternative, Grunge (Pearl Jam style, NOT Nirvana), Opera, Operetta, Musical, Big Band, light Rap (very, very light. Some of the early stuff, like, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince... I like SOME of Will Smith's recent stuff too).... Well, that's a large enough selection.

The point of that is I DO like Country.

OH!!!! AND, I do like Barry Mannilow. *chuckles* Copa Cabbana all the way, baybay. *smirks*

~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sitting here looking at my dog. Joey is lying on his back, asleep, snoring, legs spread, his "little-boy places" (as my Mother would say) showing. It's cute. *laughs quietly* AND, as I was telling my Mother... He really does remind me a lot of my Ex.

Sweet, loving, enthusiastic, well-intentioned, but just... Not able to do the things a "man" should. *chuckles quietly* And he is sort of "free" about how he displayed his, uh, privates. *chuckles*

Ya know... the comparisons are really there, folks. Let's see if we can do this in a point by point format... *chuckles*

Joey...

* Jumps around happily, tongue lolling out, when he is excited
So did D.

* Runs down the stairs (or inside) immediately wanting my FULL attention
So did D.

* Can sleep through ANYTHING
So did D.

* Can fall asleep within 5 seconds
So did D.

* Will fart as he walks past you and not even think about it
SO DID D.!!! *chuckles, shaking her head*

* Will look deeply into my eyes, and then burp. Without remorse of any kind
So did D.

(wow, these comparisons are uncanny no?)

* Will sit on my lap, or beside me, just allowing me to be bitchy, sad, depressed or happy... He'll love me anyway
So did D. (for a while)

* Doesn't talk to me
Neither did D.

* Is happy and excited and eager whenever I hint at feeding him
So was D.

* Is totally satisfied licking himself for hours on end
D would have been, if he'd been that flexible.

* Gets impatient if I'm online or reading when he wants my attention... he will also insinuate himself between me and the keyboard
D did too. Often.

* Sometimes gets too excited and piddles on the floor
YES, D did that on occassion as well. Of course, he was AIMING at the toilet at the time... he just missed.

* Will tear through the house, grabbing paper things and ripping them apart, leaving the tatters all over the floor, completely expecting me to pick up after him.
D did that too. Almost daily, actually.

* Licks my toes
Well, D didn't do that. *shudders* That would have been very, very wierd. (Some people do have a foot fetish, and if My next husband likes that stuff, I'll let him try it... *shakes her head* But it sounds really gross. And Joey doesn't wait until after I've had a shower or bath so the toes are clean. EEEEEWWWW)

* Chews on my jeans when he's bored
Well, D didn't do that either... for which I'm VERY greatful.

Well, Okay, I guess the comparison's end there. OH, and Duncan had a job, which was nice. But, I still had to run the budget. I don't like that. I can do it, and I can make up a budget which works and leaves room for savings AND extras on any income... BUT, if the guy who's making the money, wants to spend it on something he deems important.........

*shakes her head* I'm in a good mood, I don't wanna think about that stuff.

Anyway. There are a lot of comparisons between Joey and my Ex. Interesting. And my comment to my Mother stands. We were discussing D briefly, whether or not I was upset that I was divorced (she asks me that a lot, for some reason... my answer is always the same... No)...

And I told her, "Mom, he's nice, but like Joey, he doesn't have opposable thumbs."

*chuckles quietly*

Don't get me wrong, D wasn't deformed in any way... but it's just an analogy. They're just really similar. In a lot of ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Regardless... I think it's time to close this. This is about as verbose as you need for this day.

*grins*

peace unto thy hearts, friends.

May your every possitive wish come true.

~~~~~~~

OH, and for those of you who are not yet aware of it, we've got our own little Survivor show going on in Diaryland. Check out the site and the contestants, friends. This should be an extremely entertaining event. Diary Survivor

AND... You just HAVE to read my beloved Uncle Bob. Cause I love him and Andrew needs many, many, many more presents.

Love to all of you, my dear, dear, dear readers.