Okay, pre-written entry... March 28th, 2000 1:20p

Well, I'm tired. Way tired. Of course, that's mostly because I haven't gone to sleep yet. So, I've been up for about 28 hours so far. I may stay up a lot later, but think about it... I'm old now. I can't do these all nght's and survive anymore.

But, I must admit... it's well worth it for me. Because I got to talk to Bob first thing when he got home from work. That always makes me feel good. See, Bob is special to me. He and I have talked a lot. We've Role Played for nearly 2 1/2 years. We've had some really good conversations lately.

But, the thing I really like is that we've made it through a major argument. I mean, the kind that ends friendships. And we salved the hurt feelings and moved on into a deeper understanding of who we are and who we are to each other.

I'm not foolish enough to think that we'll never have another disagreement. And there are some things I just Will NOT talk about with Bob. But, he's a loved and trusted friend.

And this is why...

Bob is intelligent. Extremely intelligent.

He's got a kind and tender heart.

He doesn't pull any punches. (I don't LIKE that, but I respect it very, very much)

And, as long as you don't take the first, or second or third impression too seriously, you'll eventually find the real man deep inside.

He's an honorable, courageous and strong-willed man, wrapped up in the guise of a tough, "fuck the world cause I don't care" persona.

I think that part of the reason I like Bob so much is because we are quite similar. We Both: {interjection... this is purely supposition on my part. I may be reading Bob way, way wrong.}

* want desperately to be liked and respected, appreciated and valued.

* We want to make our friends happy and e a source of pride and joy to them.

* We want to be loved and adored, yet believe that we're not worthy of such, even tho we bend over backwards to please and apease the greedy gods of popularity.

* Neither of us would be considered beautiful by today's societal standards.

* Both of us are living in painful, irritating "home life" situations that we wish were different, but don't exactly know how to change it. [actually, we know in theory, just can't seem to put it into practice]

* We both have ultra high standards for relationships, yet have teken less than the standard because there "isn't" anyone out there to match. Either that, or the person who does mathc... *cringes* just wants to be "friends".

* We are both nursing recent broken hearts... or rather, bemoaning the fall of our ideal. For if they were truly ideal, they would love us, right?

* we're both going to be walking in the surf of the Pacific Ocean this summer *grins*

* And we both have a trusted and cherished friend in the other.

We've helped each other through heartaches and irritations. And ya know what? The first thing we're going to do when we finally meet is stand in a warm, tender, loving embrace. BUT, if I meet up with those damned gun-toting-nuns, I'm runnin the other way.

{Later tonight... March 28th, 2000 7:20p)

And ya know what? I'm currently listening to Eric Clapton's "Old Love" and thinking about crying. Thinking about crying cause I just don't cry much. And I haven't had a good, all out cry since the night I realized my marriage was REALLY over (July 17th, 1998)

Anyway, the lyrics that really hit me...

"I can feel your body... when I'm lyin in my bed. Too much confusion... goin round through my head. And it's makin me so angry..."

Damn it, I can, and another... Damn it... Bryan just want's to be friends.

And then, of course, next on the play list is Layla... Another song that will ALWAYS remind me of Bryan. Always. No matter what.

And then, "Bad luck is killin me" My character's strip tease song... Eric Clapton's Third Degree... Tiger was dared to do a strip tease for Marius le Crex... Bryan's character.

*le sigh*

Damn, the person who loaded the juke... Oh, wait, that was me... Nevermind.

See, I'm sittin here at one of my hang outs. I just felt the need for an order of chiken strips and season fries. And my usual, Pepsi and Grenadine.

I would have my creation... Golden Sunrise... but I'm driving and I don't want to pay $20 bucks for a single drink. See... the Golden Sunrise is a take off from a Tequilla Sunrise. Except it's far more potent than you'd think.

Take a pounder

Pour in four generous shots of Cuervo Gold.

Fill the rest of the glass, to a quarter inch from the rim, with pineapple juice.

Take a spoon and bottle of Grenadine... pour a thin stream of Grenadine over the BACK of the spoon to add the touch of red.

Cover the top with whipped cream

Set a cherry upon that fluffy bed of cream

There's your Golden Sunrise.

Of course, to make a "weak Sunrise"... only three shots. For a "strong Sunrise" five shots.

I really don't recommend more than five shots. You'd be drinking almost straight Cuervo Gold. No prob for me, but the cost is up there, ya know.

Besides, can you imagine paying for that in a posh bar? Figure approximately 6 bucks per shot for the Gold. That's gonna run you over 30 bucks for a Strong Sunrise.

Of course, You're supposed to make it last a long, long, long time. *smirks*

I think I'm gonna stop here.... just because I"m tired and tI think I've just taken up all the allotted space for a diary entry. *smirks*

Anyway, peace unto thy hearts, friends.

Tig

OH, Major PS... I was shot by cupid, but I don't know who did it. *smirks* (check The Spark to find out more about the little cupid dude) I've tried registering with the spark four different times, but there's some glitch with the Diaryland addy... so, I registered under my other Email addy.... IF you were the instigator of that shot (was real suspicious of Bob for a while) please RE-list me under [email protected] rather than [email protected]. Thanks, friends. And Peace to you.