Baby was eating my icecubes.

*pouts*

I guess I should explain that...

Baby is my Mother's African Senicole Parot. From tail to beak he/she (we can't tell if it's male or female... supposedly it's a female, but it's not acting very female) is about six inches in length. He/she's got a green body, yellow chest and gray head.

Now, this little parot is a real pain in the ass. I was taking a nap and the pup woke me by jumping up onto my bed and then jumping up onto my chest. *rolls her eyes* So I stumble downstairs to let the exuberant fur-face out, grab myself a glass of icewater and try to shake the cobwebs of sleep from my aching head.

I was talking to the Maternal Parental Unit, holding my glass of water, when Baby the Attack Midget decided to investigate my water.

Now, I want to know what it is about me that draws the attention of every psychotic animal in existance. The puppy is jumping at me, trying to get a better look at the bird, the bird is perched on my shoulder, trying to crawl her way down to my glass, and I'm trying to beat out the head ache that's threatening to knock me into next week.

The bird, perched upon the rim of my glass, starts poking its hooked beak against my ice cubes... then *in a whiney voice* he bit my icecube and tried pulling it out of the glass.

*in a louder, whiney voice* Myyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiccccceeeeee cccccccuuuuuuubbbbbbbeeeeeee. Nooooooooo. Ddddooooonnnnnn'ttttt eeeeeeeaaaaaaatttttt mmmmmmmyyyyyyy iiiiicccccceeeee cccccuuuuubbbbbeeeee.

I think I was about four in that situation. All I wanted was to drink my ice water in order to get rid of the heat-induced head ache. (Take into consideration for all of you who live anywhere else, it would be quite cool to y'all. For me, tho, I suffer from heat stroke really easily. If the room gets even a little hot or stuffy, my head gets thick and starts to ache right behind my eyes... not a good situation)

So, I was whining and complaining, feeling rather petulant and fussy. I looked at my Mother, as she was laughing at me, and the dog was alternating between jumping at his frozen bone (I gave him an ice cube to play with) and jumping up on my belly to have a "close" look at the bird (Cocker Spaniels are bird dogs... meaning, they hunt birds. And Baby would make an excellent snack... hint hint, bark bark) and the bird was alternating between looking indignant at the dog, trying to grab my ice cubes and making motions like she's gonna shit on me....

I looked at my Mom and said... "I think I'm four today"

She just laughed louder.

ANd, what's more, I have to transfer the baby love birds from the parent cage into a cage of their own as the parent lovebirds are starting in on the next clutch... Prolific bastards they.

So....

Now I'm upstairs again, the lights are off, the TV is on for background noise, tho there's nothing to watch and it's cool, but this headache just won't go away.

So, I go online, turn on my pager (Yahell Pager ID, BurntTiger) and find out that NO ONE is online... Damn you for having a job, Bob. On top of that, this head ache is just kickin my ass and I don't want to go downstairs for more water, and my brand new bottle of water is lost somewhere, probably under my bed, but I don't want to look for it cause then I'd have to move and my head hurts when I move....

So, with a head ache, I log on and go first to Affemann's diary only to discover that it's the same post I've looked at seven times today. Hmmmm, I wonder what's wrong... Then, the brilliant Fatal Tiger gets an idea and clicks on "Refresh" AMAZING... A NEW POST!!!!! *laughs at herself*

So, I read through his entry and see the questions (Yes, I'm gonna answer them, just hold on, I'm getting there) So, then I go check out Methy's diary and find it's the same too... I don't have a fear of scientific names, I just can't say them. Then, next on my tour of diaries... I hop on over to UncleBob's place and check out his life... Hot damn, I'm so jealous. I wanna be there to see David Sanborn, Loverboy and P-Funk. *le sigh*

So, here in my head ache and jealousy induced depression, with no one online and no money in store, I contemplate the questions posed and then contemplate how to answer them. And I'm still feeling rather petulant and fussy and my puppy is playing with his favorite toy (my keys), knocking them all over, jumping at me and landing on my keyboard, adding his two cents I guess...

*le sigh*

So... well... without further confusing Ado... here are my answers to the questions in the on-going Methy-Affemann quest for knowledge. (or should that be trivial knowledge?)

Anyway... here we go, boys and girls.

1) What's the wierdest dream you've ever had...

Mmmmmmm, well... I've had a few dreams, and some really scary ones, but if I dream now, I don't remember it. I think I've had four dreams in the past eight years. Regardless, the wierdest one I had was just about a year and a half ago. *chuckles* John Cusack picked me up in my Mother's car and drove me to church. *shakes her head, rolling her eyes* I have no idea why, and there was a little more to it than that... but that was really wierd. I mean, what the fuck is John Cusack doing driving my Mother's car???

2) What's the worst thing you ever did...

Mmmmmmmmm, difficult Q to answer. I've done some bad things but most of the stuff that I've done wrong/bad were unintentional or subconscious acts. So... Hmmmmm... I'd have to say, stealing four hundred bucks from the bank was pretty bad. *smirks* And if you want to know more about that, you'll have to ask me personally... if enough of you querry, I might put it down here for the world to see. *chuckles*

3) When did you lose your virginity...

Mmmmmm, February of 94. I was 23 and my ex was just about to leave for six months on West Pac with the Navy. We were going to be married in August of that year. February should be stricken from the record. I am in agreement with Bryan when he says February should be renamed, No Shit month.

4) What's the worst job imaginable...

*laughs* Oh, that's interesting. Personally, I think the worst job imaginable is being married to my ex... but that's another matter alltogether. Actually, the worst job imaginable would probably be stripper/prostitute. And this is because it is a job with an extremely short life, high fatality rate, no prestige, and so incredibly degrading in the "main stream". I mean, there are people out there who are stripping and prostituting themselves who are wonderful and cherished individuals, and yet no one looks past the "job" to see the person behind it. That would just be so humiliating to me... to be seen as something I do rather than who I am... *shrugs* Hmmmmm, that makes me think.

5) Have you ever had a homoerotic experience...

*laughs quietly* Mmmmmm, telling all my secrets now, eh? *smirks* Um... yeah, I have. I won't do it again becuase it's part of what destroyed my marriage, but, yeah...

My ex and I had a threesome twice. Same girl. I enjoyed it so very much. Damn, I SO want to do it again. But I won't. Anyway... we only did it twice because she wouldn't do anything with him. *chuckles* I went down on her both times and she was very satisfied, but she wouldn't touch him, she wouldn't blow him and he got pissed cause he wasn't receiving any of the attention. *shrugs*

Dunno. Some people can handle the multiple partners thing, some can't. I know that after that experience, my ex was far less attentive and far more antagonistic toward me. I think that sex is far more intense and far-reaching than any of us realize until it's far too late to change things.

Hmmmmmm... These questions have spawned many thoughts.

I shall return at a later date.

Peace unto thy hearts.

The Fatal Tiger