====Music to veg-out to... River Of Tears: Eric Clapton====

Mmmm, I figure this is going to be a fairly short entry today. I'm tired, a little frustrated and anticipating my multiple-day-vacation from this diary and all things associated with the internet. *smiles softly*

I'll be up in Kirkland/Seattle for Turkey Day. I'm actually going this year. The only connection to the online world that I will have with me, is my memory. And, I think it will be good for me. I figure I should start taking some of the advice I give. *smiles softly* It's about that time, ya know?

I've been playing with the idea of actually getting my life in order and all. I just haven't done it yet. I haven't quite gotten off my ass to make the world work. But, I'm going to the Unemployment Office here in town. I'll be going through the paper when I'm up in Seattle. And, I think I'm going to seek out a loan from either the bank, or one of my relatives.

I'm not going to play this game anymore.

I'm tired. And frustrated. And no matter how much I try to look at my life in a logical manner., I keep coming up with the same thing.... I hurt. I know I shouldn't. I know that the things that happened last night are good and necessary. The conversation was absolutely necessary.

And yet, I still feel pain. Not outright pain, but some kind of nebulous, partially obfuscated pain. It's centered somewhere behind my neck.

====Music to veg-out to... Old Love: Eric Clapton====

No more pitty. I don't have time for it. If I don't accept pitty in others, why the fuck should I accept it in myself? Hell, I might be an idealistic bitch, but enough is enough.

I don't have time for the pain. I don't have room for the pain. The pain, discomfort and irritation have taken dominant status in my lifestyle for so long.... They are not for me. And I refuse to be a pawn anylonger.

Okay... this is fairly confusing, I know. Kind of obscure and meaningless and purposeful all wrapped in a tiny little package under extreme pressure.

*sighs*

I'm going to log on, post this, then run through some Email and ....... do something else. Probably emerse myself in some fantasy or other. Some RP situation. Hell, I'll create a scenario similar to the one I'm going through now and figure out what to do next by having the character dictate. *chuckles*

Yeah, and the sky is purple here.

Night.