I'm still extremely angry. I am attemtping to put that behind me, of course, but I'm still just.... *shrugs*

I can't imagine who it was I pissed off. And I can't imagine the person who would think this was simply funny. Yeah, funny, my ass. C'mon butt-munch, we'll see just what funny is. You like that? That feel good? *shakes her head*

Gah

I'm going back to bed in a few minutes.

I figure if I sleep a little longer (I've only had four hours so far) then maybe the anger will fade and I'll be able to put this behind me, move on and pick up the shattered pieces of my diary.

One of the good things, I suppose... for those people who come new to my diary, they'll not have that much to catch up on.

I get the feeling that something out there doesn't want me to write. I've had my Stories.com account deleted, my diary completely erased and my favorite Role Play club completely deleted.

I'm hoping that the club deletion is just one of those irritating flukes. Every once in a while, Yahell goes through a little time warp and one or two of the clubs will show up as deleted for a day or two. I'm really hoping that's what happened to the RP club. Frag, we had almost 1000 posts in that club. It was sweet.

*sighs*

I suppose it doesn't matter. It's just a bunch of pixels and if I could be a part of something I enjoyed that much for a little while, perhaps I could be part of something I enjoyed more as time wears on. *shrugs*

I know that these deletions are not the end of the world, but I'm still extremely pissed off about it. Extremely pissed off.

However, getting all bitchy and mouthy and wailing won't help the situation. I have a responsibility to be the bigger person here, (no pun intended) and make the best of a bad situation.

Yes, I'm still ticked off that all of my entries, most of which are completely unreplaceable, are gone. However, part of the reason for writing is that I can express the feelings, purge the nastiness, learn the lesson and move on. I suppose this could be looked at from a more positive point of view.

*shrugs*

Who the hell knows.

I don't really know too much right now. I'm running into my defense mechanism. The one I like.

Something happens in my life, whether I caused it directly or indirectly. It is something I do not, under any circumstances, enjoy. After the initial reaction, the lid slams down over the box of emotions in my head.

I'm able to withdraw emotionally and look at the situation from a more logical perspective.

From there, I can move forward or go around and eventually put the shit-can part behind me.

So, I'm starting again. I'm going to rebuild. It may well take another year before I can actually put everything back in place. But I'm working on it.

Until next time, folks.