What is it with people who feel it is necessary to tell people what other people have told them? I"m not talking about folks who can't keep a secret, cause those folks are just... demented.

But, I'm talking about a friend of mine, or rather, accquaintance, who tells other people the things I've said. Most often I don't care. But I also don't like being restricted in what I say. I can't asy anything private to this person cause I don't trust them to not share the info with others.

Course, it's possible that if I told this person that my comments were meant to be private and not public they would not pass on the info. However, were I to be completely honest, it's not just one person. It's just this most recent individual that brought the matter to my attention.

See... this is something that really bugs me. I don't like having my quotes tossed back at me from people with whom I've never spoken. I kinda feel like... If I want you to know something, I'll tell you.

It's not like the PIQ (Person In Question) was telling about nasty things I said. They weren't. They were repeating positive comments I was saying about a friend of theirs. But.... Well... this is the point...

When something starts on the gossip chain, there's no telling where it's gonna end. I mean it. I know you've all had experiences where "I'm going to the market" gets translated into "She's involved in the black market" Which, in turn, gets translated into "My God, she bought a black slave at the market"

Well, okay, maybe that's a little extreme, but I'm sure you get the point.

I hate it when my comments/words are misinterpreted. AND, when I am told something second hand, I know that anything I"ve told the "teller" is being re-told to other people.

ARGGGGGG

I really hate that. I'm a private person. If I want someone to know something, I'll tell them. If THEY want to know something about me, THEY need to ask me. I'll tell them. But I don't do that bullshit, junior high "did you hear what she said?" I don't do that bullshit, junior high "Does he LIKE me like me?" either.

*rolls her eyes*

I'm very willing to share anything you want to know about me. But you've got to ask. You have to WANT to know. See... the reason I type in this diary is because you guys keep coming back to read it. If you don't want to know, you'll stop reading. Even if Sympatico were the only one reading this, I'd still write it cause I KNOW he wants to read about my life. He wants to know what's going on with me and how I'm doing and all that shit.

BUT, he doesn't go to someone else to ask them how I'm doing.

See... My Mom has asked me on numerous occassions what she's supposed to say when people ask her about me. I tell her the same thing every time. "Tell them to ask me."

She, of course, being the practical mother she is, looks at me with a frown then makes some comment about how uncooperative I'm being. *shrugs* Hey, if they really want to know what's going on in my life, they can ask me. THey'll get the same answer everyone else gets.

"I'm doing just fine. I'm happy and healthy, for the most part. I'm still alive and greatly looking forward to my trip to Dallas in FIVE weeks."

Of course, as the time counts down, It will be less than five weeks and all, but you get the point.

*grins*

Anyway, I"m tired of talking about that.

Next topic...

I'm going to Dallas in FIVE weeks. *grins brightly* I get my tickets either tomorrow or Friday. I'm so damned excited I can hardly breathe. I've been bouncing for days. *chuckles* Yeah, okay, so that's a lie. But I've been mentally bouncing for days.

I will be making one of my skirts for the SCA Gulf War. I have to make up a whole bunch of outfits and stuff. And, since finances are tight, I'm not making five dresses as Charles suggested. But, I'll have a few different outfits.

See... contrary to most females in this world, I don't give a shit if I wear the same thing twice in a five day period. Seriously. *chuckles* AND, I don't have a shit fit if I show up wearing the exact same thing that someone else is wearing. THat doesn't bother me at all.

What DOES bother me, is if I'm walking into a place with my date (heh, like I'd have one of those) and some other chick was there with the same date. THat would irk me. A lot. *smirks*

And that brings me to another point..... I don't get actively jealous. I just don't. It's not my style. I feel jealousy once in a while, but in my personal opinion, jealousy is NOT a comment on whether or not a person trusts their mate/date/whatever, but a comment on how said person feels about themselves.

If a person is insecure about themselves, then they're going to be more apt to feel jealousy. Of course, that's only my opinion.

And, I only feel jealousy when I'm feeling ugly on the inside, or when I don't like myself on the inside. When I'm cool with who and what I am, I don't feel any jealousy whatsoever. And I suppose that the reason I've not acted on my jealousy is because down deep I've always known it was MY foible and not caused by anyone else.

Okay, I'm done. My brain is fading and tho my fingers are willing to type more, the only other things you're going to get out of me tonight are a bunch of prattling on about nothing important. So, I'm just gonna post this with a short poem I wrote for a friend of mine.

This was written for a friend by the name of Josh. He's a cook at one of the places I hang out to write. There was conversation about how often he gets notes from people. *chuckles* It was really funny. And the joke was that he hadn't gotten a note yet that day (he'd been on the clock for about 10 minutes). So, I wrote him a "note"