Tiger's Bitch Out -- [email protected]

Drinking and Driving

Ok, Loaded topic here.

What's with people - especially old people - who think they can drive after having consumed half the contents of the bar? Come on, they're bad drivers when they're sober. Now, as a disclaimer, you've got to know that I'm really talking about OLD people -- 70 to 80 years old.

I was sitting at one of my hang outs (drinking Pepsi) the other night, listening to this old woman bitch about how she didn't need a cab, she was fine to drive. This 78 year old woman was so sloshed that she couldn't get up on her bar stool, let alone stand up straight. And yet, she was loudly claiming her sobriety.

You know, that "Little Old Lady From Pasadena" was not just operating a fast car, she was probably drunk. And, what's more, she was probably supplying beer to the kids she was draggin with. So, not only was she driving too fast, she was drunk, reckless and contributing to the delinquency of minors.

Seriously though, according to recent studies, it takes aproximately one full hour for the effects of one drink to burn off. So, at best, it will take at least one full hour after your last drink before you can judge your intoxication level, let alone get behind the wheel.

We all know how dangerous it is to drive drunk. Think about this -- if it takes an hour to burn off one drink, how well are you really able to move around after drinking a pitcher or two of beer, or six or seven drinks in a couple hours? If you can't really walk straight, what makes you think you can drive straight?????

AND, think about this one... That chick that looks like Mimi Bobek (from the "Drew Carey Show") in the light of day, looks like Cindi Crawford after a night of drinking. If you can mistake a fat, mouthy, circus-clown-esque woman for a Super Model, how well are you going to recognize a stop sign?

Just think about it. If you've been drinking, take a cab. If you plan to drink, take a designated driver. If you don't drink responsibly, don't drink.

Because, I'll find where you are, I'll follow you home, I'll have my friends string you up and I'll...

Never mind, you'd probably enjoy that.

Til next time...