Arg. I have one of those damned emotion headaches. Yeah, so I'm wierd, so sue me. Or rather, don't. Send me money instead.

I watched Story Of Us tonight. Yeah, it's one of those cryin movies. I was flashing back to life with my ex. The stoney silences. The refusal to talk or communicate. Hell, it was a complete inability to communicate between D and I. Whoopie.

So, I went through the movie, seeing what my next marriage could be like, what I was willing to put up with the next time around, and what I wasn't.

So, what have I decided?

I won't remember the minute pains and irritations. LIfe is short. I don't need to make my future husband miserable by remembering all the little details of everything he's done wrong.

I will remember that my husband is another human, thus won't always conform to what I think he should do/be.

I will do my best to spend at least two days a month consciously doing the things I did when we first met... those things that attracted him to me in the first place.

I will set aside one day a week for a special dinner/breakfast/time with my husband for conversation. AND, I will NOT use that time for arguments, criticisms or needs. It will be tender and gentle time for the two of us to be friends.

When I feel left to make all the decisions and take on the full responsibility for running the household, I will tell him so, rather than stuffing the feelings until they create a chasm between us.

I will make a point of writing him at least three notes a week, preferably once a day, but I'm giving a little lee-way for stress. These short notes will be special little words that tell him I love him and cherish his time.

(taking this from my parent's life) I will have a small stuffie or toy... something childish in nature... and I will hide this in certain places where he'll find it when he's away from me. The plan is for him to then hide it for me to find and continue back and forth.

I will spend at least half an hour every single day in prayer WITH him. The purpose of this is to confirm that our marriage is not only a partnership of two, but it is a family which includes God as the head.

(*big sigh, very, very big sigh here*) I will do my absolute best to keep the house clean and presentable. He is worthy of clean and whole furnishings. He is worthy of a clean home. He is better than visiting guests and if I have to bust my ass to clean for guests, then that says he's not worth that effort. I don't agree with that. I will keep our home clean because we are a family worthy of clean!

That last one might not make much sense to you folks... what with all of you being those spotlessly clean individuals. *smirks*

When I was married to the ex, I quit cleaning cause he wouldn't help. I would bust my ass to keep the place cleaned up, but he would saunter in, and dirty up all the pans for a simple two-pan meal, leaving the garbage all over the counters, the pans piled in the sink... He'd come in and dump his boots and clothing wherever he felt like it. I just stopped picking up after him.

I won't do that this time. I will find other ways to request help. I will compromise. If my husband wants to drop his clothing wherever, then there will be something I request in return... Either that, or I'll ask him to pay me to be the maid. That might work. *shrugs*

Dunno exactly how that would work, I'll have to talk to him whenever I meet him. *chuckles*

Anyway... I think the most important thing for a couple... what will keep them together, is the ability to communicate with each other.

I will simply have to keep an open mind.

Until next time, folks.