I called my biological father about an hour ago. He's coming down here on Sunday to meet up and have a little talk and such.

I'm a little nervous. But I think that this is an important step in getting my life really back on track.

I'm beginning to believe that a woman's development is healthy or unhealthy due to how great a role her father had in her life. Since both my biological father and my step dad were largely absent throughout my life...

Well, bottom line is this... I'm hoping that if my love and attention need is filled by having a healthy relationship with my dad, then maybe I will be less likely to create reasons to be attracted to men.

That sounds a little confusing...

I believe that if a female (in most cases, not all) grows up without a father or positive, non-sexual, paternal influence, then she may well seek out someone to validate her... to prove that she is capable and that it is okay to risk.

I personally think that the positive presense of a father-figure is what reassures the female that even if she falls down, she isn't a failure. She might not have succeeded in her intended goal, But coming in second doesn't mean you failed.

For me personally, I think that if I can build/establish/reestablish a working and healthy relationship with both my biological father (Charlie) and my Dad (Bill) I will be getting the love, reassurance and validation I feel I need, without having to lower my standards.

That might not make any sense to you, Hell, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. BUT, I am more than sure that in the coming night/day/weekend, I will more accurately figure out what I really mean to say.

I'm sure there will be quite a few entries tonight. *smirks*

Peace unto thy hearts.