I was asked yet another good series of questions as to my sexual/relationship beliefs as they pertain to religion and "sin"

This was my Long-Ass Response (TM) to the BBW board.

Heh... Let's branch out into my bizarre and, as I have been told many, many times, "completely unrealistic" religious views. *smirks*

===warning, get popcorn and something to drink and settle back comfortably... the verbose floodgates have opened===

First off... Just to make sure that everyone who reads this knows... These are my opinions. They work for my life. I don't expect other people to have the same opinion, nor do I hold ANYONE other than myself up to these standards. These opinions are statements of my ideal.

To me, the use of the word "sin" is too broad. As an overview and foundation let me state my most basic core belief in regard to religion and matters of Spiritual nature:

God, having created man-kind, created us with free will. God is not an invasive God, He designed each of us for a specific purpose, but whether or not we actually move toward that purpose is our choice. Each of us has the right to a personal and individual relationship with God. Whether or not we choose to develop that relationship is up to us.

As an extension of that, no one (in my opinion) has the right to say whether or not one person is "following God" correctly. I do not have any right to tell someone else that the way they are living their life is right or wrong. Each person in this world has the same right I do, and that is, in essense, to fuck up their life in whatever way they want to.

Who am I to say that someone else is better or worse than I am???

That being said, lets get into the good, ol' mud slingin here.... or something. *chuckles*

Now, as far as the actual cheating:

There are two different kinds of cheating in my opinion. One is cheating against the spouse. The other is cheating against God (or as some religious people choose to say, "Cheating in the Spirit").

To me, cheating against the spouse is the physical contact or mutual masterbation with someone other than the spouse (that means phone or cyber sex for those who are playing along at home)

Cheating against God is the thought. When the thoughts cause some form of arrousal, whether physical or mental, that is cheating in the spirit. (again, in my opinion only)

Next: Are these thoughts sin:

That depends solely on one's relationship with God. If you don't believe in God then you have nothing to be concerned with anyway, right? ("you" being the collective) Since we are all given free will and an individual relationship with God (for those who choose to have such), what is or is not sin for a specific person is between that person and God alone.

Would someone go to hell for my version of "cheating":

Heh... I don't believe in hell. I personally believe that the concept of heaven and hell are totally bogus and were created by some very old, strict Catholic parents who wanted to scare their children. Okay, so I don't believe that, but it sounded good at the time.

I don't know who started the heaven and hell concepts. And to be completely honest, I can't say I really care a whole lot. However, I don't believe in an eternity spent writhing in agony in the pits of hell. Eternal life, in my opinion, is a gift from God. It is not something we are born with. If one is unrepentant of sin, whatever sin they might have committed (and that's between them and God) at the time of their death, then, they die. End of story, no tag backs, no free rides. Dead, kaput, over. There isn't any eternal writhing in misery to atone for the sins.

God doesn't work that way with me. In my life, every single time, His mercy has been instant and complete. If I am repentant and ask for forgiveness, it is given instantly and completely.

Finally: Have I always felt this way:

Hmmmm... Sort of. From about the age of 18 or so, I have believed that everyone has the right to fuck up their life whatever way they want to. However, I was raised in an extremely strict, fundimentalist "Christian" church.

I place Christian in quotes because... well it would take another ten years to explain, suffice it to say just because someone calls themself a Christian, doesn't mean they believe in and on God and Christ.

This church I was raised in (from about a year old) was extremely strict and didn't take the human factor in mind when handing out doctrine. *pauses a moment, thinking*

Okay, I'll wrap this up quickly... I used to believe that there were two sides to every story. The right one and the wrong one. I used to think that everything was concrete, black and white, cut and dried.

As I matured and grew older and actually started watching people (started watching about 11, started forming opinions at about 13) I realized that the church and adults specifically were extremely hypocritical. It took me many years of observation, watching the way the world worked, watching the way the church worked.

I listened to what I was being told by both church and "secular" people. And there was more truth in the "secular" conversation. So, I then began evaluating the lessons that I learned from the church. (heavy into guilt -- Very heavy into guilt. Not QUITE as bad as the Catholic system, but really close)

A month before my 18th birthday, I went through an attempted date rape. It wasn't until that night that I really understood how fucked up the church doctrine really was. (rather, not the doctrine, but my interpretation of it) I was being molested by a guy I had been dating for 7 months because I believed as a woman in the church I had no value, no worth, no merit and no rights.

I spent the following 10 years (no lie) miserably depressed, suicidal and withdrawn from life and world situations.

It hasn't been until these past three years that I have been able to assimilate all the information, beliefs, understandings etc. I have been told that I was less than. That I was not allowed to have an opinion and that I had no value other than that of my husband and children. (except, I didn't have kids)

From that night in 98, when I put my foot down with Jonny (and kneed him in the groin three times, punching him once before eventually sending him out the door and down the stairs in a flying leap/toss *bats her eyelashes*) I *knew* there was something wrong with the way I interpreted the lessons of the church and God.

Deep inside, for the past 13 years, I fought the previous 18 years of conditioned response. And, during the most recent three years, since the divorce, I realized that if I wanted a relationship with God, it was MY responsibility to build one. (rather than blindly believing what someone else said was right or wrong)

I realized that there weren't just two sides to a story, but that there were an infinite number of sides. Every individual has a different way of looking at life and world situations, thus, their view is yet another side.

I have always "known" that any form of sexual/sensual thought, contact, action, word is "sin" unless done, felt, thought, said to/with spouse.

Now, however, I know without a doubt that sin is subjective. I know that what I consider to be sin/wrong is specific to me alone. And what other people do/say/believe may well be very, very different.

Not wrong, just different. I do believe in a much higher standard, specifically for myself. And, I often fall short of my own standard. *chuckles, shrugging* I think that's part of the Virgo/anal-retentive/perfectionist side of me.

*looks at you* Are you still awake?

*shrugs, covering you with a blanket*

Peace unto thy heart.

J

AKA

The Fatal Tiger

http://TigreFatalis.diaryland.com

http://www.geocities.com/red_wraith/bbw

Whatcha think?