I was supposed to go up to Tacoma this next weekend to meet a guy from the 'Net. He seems to be a nice guy and I've mentioned him here, in passing, before. We were supposed to meet up and have a no-stress/just-friends date.

Heh

I told him I wasn't gonna go.

I told him the honest reasons, that I was scared and nervous and I just didn't feel ready. I told him that I didn't think I could do it until I had a car. That I just can't be in the city, meeting a virtual stranger without a way to escape if I get scared.

He said he'd drive me back if I didn't want to be with him anymore. I said that wanting to be with him or not wasn't the point, it was the complete dependance upon him; dependance upon a stranger.

He understood that. He was very cool about it and asked if I wanted to stop talking online. I don't. I want to keep talking to him, I just want to know more about him. I want... I don't know.

With everyone else I've met from the 'Net, I've known/talked with them for a substantial time before we met.

Bryan I knew for a year and a half. Charles I'd known and RPed with and spoke with for nearly three years. Russell I'd known and spoken with and RPed with for nearly two years.

I've spoken with Dave for just barely two months. It's not my style to rush into things.

I know of many people who are willing and able to rush into meetings and friendships and relationships. For instance, Bobby is always up for that instant adventure. He'll talk with someone for an hour and then go meet them.

I like reading his adventures and his life, but I don't want to live it. It works for him, not me.

I'm very happy being the reserved, cautious person I am.

Ya know, with Bryan, Charles and Russell, I wanted to cancel with all of them, but because I was a chicken. I didn't have a gut feeling that told me not to go.

Dave, if you read this... There's just something, some instinct that tells me it's not the right time. And, I've learned to trust that gut instinct. I think I need to stay home, continue to heal and continue to learn about you.

Yes, I'm often over cautious. However, all the negative and bad stuff that has happened in my life has been because I've either ignored that gut instinct, or moved faster than I really wanted to.

Heh.

It's all good though. I'll learn more about this guy and talk with him a bit more before I finally meet him. And, I'll meet him on my terms. So that I'm comfy with it. I'll have a car. *chuckles*

I always have to have a way out. I don't like blind situations. Figure the odds, eh? *winks*