February is not a great month. I don't know if it's the fact that it's just short, or what, but it's not a good month.

Bad things happen in February.

My first date with Jonny was in February. Same night he ignored me when I said "no".

The worst "date" of my entire life was in February. Yes, worse, by far, than Jonny. *rolls her eyes* Dallas was his name and some day, remind me, I'll tell you all about it.

I gave up on the guy I was in love with (am still smitten with the idea of him) in February. I'd had a crush/been in love with him for about 7 years or more but he'd never shown specific interest in me. I gave up on him that February. Stupid girl.

I met my ex in February. *rolls her eyes* He proposed to me on our first date. He told me he'd be a fool not to marry me the night we met. *rolls her eyes again*

I met my first fiance in February.

I found out that my paternal grandmother died, in February.

My best friend's mother announced that she was divorcing his father, in February.

Bryan told me he'd met the woman of his dreams, in February.

That same woman, not three weeks later, told him that he had to marry her cause she was preggers. (a lie) In February.

The ex and I had the biggest fight of our married life, in February.

The next year, I told the ex I didn't want to be married to him anymore. In February.

That same February, the ex told me I was being a baby, sponging off my folks and was lying about how serious the wreck was. (head-on with a KenWorth semi resulting in being in a near coma for a week, traction, hella pain and major surgery with a three-week hospital recouperation stay only to be released to the folks' house cause I needed 24/7 care what with not being able to walk and everything.)

Found out my maternal grandfather had skin and throat cancer, in February.

See a pattern here yet?

I'm glad there are only two more days in this stinkin month.

I think I'll quit smokin on Friday. That's March 1st. It will mark 8 years to the day that I started. I think that's long enough. It's also my ex-best-friend's b-day.

It marks the last time I ever had (or will have) a female best-friend. Especially a picese. *shudders*

It marks the end of February. The End of Robyn. The end of smoking. Yeah, I think that works.

I think I could work that symbolism into a real motivation to quit. My mind is weird that way. I can create a reason to quit which doesn't revolve around the stars aligning.

It's just the months alignment I need to worry about.

*chuckles*

Maybe, Just maybe, I'll find my voice on March Second. It's possible.

Sweet sleep, y'all.