I was just reading through Lee's tale of woe in regard to his surgery. His story begins in early September but doesn't actually conclude until the end of October.

*shakes her head*

I've been told by quite a few people that surgery would be a good thing for me. I was told recently that surgery is really the only way for me to lose the weight.

After reading what Lee wrote, I can't stomach (pun intended) that kind of an invasive thing.

Pain.

Humiliation.

Devistation.

Weakness.

100% vulnerability.

I don't think I could handle those things.

On top of all that, it's going to be a year before he's at his goal weight.

If it's going to take a year to reach that goal weight, and you still have to do excersize and work off the excess skin... Why would a person voluntarily submit to that kind of torture?

I know that Lee has been wanting this kind of surgery. He spoke about it when he was here last year. But I still don't understand how a person can endure that voluntarily.

I've thought about the surgery. I've thought about having someone else make my problem go away. And yet, it's the problem that goes away, it's the symptom.

I mean absolutely no disrespect to Lee in any way, shape or form. I firmly support his recovery and, contrary to the way it may seem, his surgery too. I love Lee and think he's a great man. I believe his wife is a tremendous support to him.

For me, in my life, however, the surgery is a treatment of a symptom and not the treatment of the actual problem. Being fat doesn't happen because you walked past the wrong window. Being fat doesn't happen because you were rained on as a child.

That means that there is a personal responsibility I have to admit to.

Reading through Lee's story shows me that if I want to be slender/sveldt, there is a change which must occur in my behavior.

Hell, if I started eating the way Lee has to eat now, I'd lose weight too.

So, I'm going to do an experiment. I'm going to alter what I eat and how I eat it. I'm going to run this experiment for a year. (Yes, I know that sounds like a long-ass time and it is, but I'm going to measure results)

Maybe I will find that I lose weight too. Maybe I'll find that I do so with far less pain. Maybe I'll find that I actually like having taken this initiative. Maybe I won't succeed.

But, what have I got to lose? Really.