===This is part two of a two-part entry, however, it is the third entry of the night. So, if you haven't checked this diary since about 11pm, 12/24/02, then you've got three entries to read.===

I don�t want to stagnate. I�ve been there, I�ve already done that one. I don�t want to repeat the process.

I want to be happy and feel fulfilled. I want to enjoy my life. I want to be satisfied with what I have, but I also want to strive for more, better. I�m not talking about needing to have a huge house and then wanting an even bigger one. I�m not talking about having everything and then wanting more. I�m talking about not getting complacent.

I love my life. I enjoy the efforts I put forth and the results such efforts bring. I enjoy conversation with my trusted friends and I enjoy my chosen lifestyle. I don�t want to stay here forever, though. I�m not hoping for a final destination. I�m hoping for a continuing road. I want many destinations.

There are many people I know who want to acquire everything. They seem to want to hold onto everything, not just what they have, but what everyone else has. I don�t want that. I want to have everything I can hold. Then, I want to play with my toys, look at the sights, enjoy the views, conversations and relationships. Then, I want to move on and find new sights, new friends, new toys to play with.

I don�t want to drag the old toys, sights and friends with me.

Does that sound cold? It�s not meant to.

There are some friends I really enjoy and have had for quite a long while, but I honestly can�t think of anyone I�ve known who has been my constant friend other than my Mother.

I�ve lived on this earth for 32 years. I�ve had quite a few �best friends� throughout that time. I had a best friend when I was in grade school, or so my Mother tells me, but I don�t remember him. I haven�t had any contact with him in more than 20 years. AT the time, he was a good friend. Now, not so much.

When I was in college, there were two people I considered my closest friends. I haven�t spoken to either one of them in more than 8 years. Do I care about what happens in their lives? Yes. Do I need to know what happens in their lives? No. Do I feel loss because they are not important parts of my life now? No.

People change and grow for the most part. Time changes everything if you let enough of it pass. I don�t want to become stagnant. I don�t want to be one of those people who returns to their high-school reunions wishing they could return to high-school. I don�t want to live my life in the past.

There are two people who are of great import to me at this time in my life. Both are from the �Net. I�ve met both of them face-to-face. I feel very connected to these people and they are of great importance to me. But can I guarantee they will be of the same importance ten years down the road? No. I don�t want to lose either of these people as friends, but I�m not going to cry and whine if life moves us in different directions.

Again, I figure this sounds rather cold, but I don�t mean it to be. I simply think that I have quite a logical approach. There are things I miss about those who I have known in the past. But that doesn�t mean that I want to return to the place I was when they were in my life.

I suppose this is the long way of saying that it�s time for me to move on. I�m not exactly sure if I can say this accurately, but I�m going to attempt it.

I have my driver�s license once again. I will soon have insurance and a vehicle. I will then attain a job. I have already asked God to make one for me. I figure that by about February, I�ll have that job.

It�s time for me to move forward again. I have been at this rest area long enough and I need to start moving again. I�m getting healthier with every day that passes. The crutches I�ve used in the past are being phased out. I�m minimizing the unnecessary things of my life.

I want to be more than I am now. I do, very much, like what I am now, but I want to be more. I want to accomplish more. I want to attain more. I will win the lottery in the near future and I will make a difference in other peoples� lives.

I do that now, I know that, but I will be able to make a bigger difference. And I will learn the lessons I need to know so that when I make it to the next rest area, I will be able to sit back and enjoy it.

My life is a wonderful journey. Now that I have gotten my wheels back on firm ground and have rested up a bit, I�m ready to head out again. Life, the ultimate road trip. *chuckles*

I�m not sure if you folks are clear about what I�ve written, but I definitely have found some inner peace through writing this. That is, after all, the whole point of this diary; to help me figure out who and what I am. I write to process the things in my life. I write in order to purge the negative and remember the positive.

I will accomplish more. I will be better. And I will do so cheerfully and kindly. I have no need of hurtful, hateful people. I choose to react differently, or rather, act differently. I see wonderful things in my future and I am pleasantly eager to reach them.

May your every positive wish come true, my friends. Life should be enjoyed.

Peace unto thy hearts.