Well, it seems that of the four people who have availed themselves of my recent survey have decided that I AM marriage material, but they wouldn't date me, that I have decently (above average) moral standards, that my hair is my best feature, I have a nice smile, I'm fairly unique, two people refuse to say whether or not they'd be willing to kiss me while the other two would probably kiss me if the alternative was to do jail time and finally, My playin days are over. *chuckles*

All in all, this is very fun. I would love to know who said what, but I think that would take some of the fun out of it.

There's a chance, slight though it may be, that I"ll get to have lunch with Lee on Thursday. Dunno for sure cause I don't have a confirmation yet. But, we'll see. And, even if this week doesn't work, there's always next week.

Anyway, I"m getting tired so I"m going to post the entry I wrote earlier today and then scuttle off to bed.

Much love to all those who think I'm lovable. And, big zerberts to those of you who would rather serve time than kiss me. Heh.

Oh, and by the by, the four people who have taken the survey so far all say that I can keep a secret like Fort Knox. Heh. IF only they knew. *grins*

Okay, I'm going to sleep now.

Love and all that other mushy stuff.

J

Grandma and I went to Snohomish last week. We went through the antique shops and all. Rather, we went to an Antique shop, saw the prices, and decided that we could make our own business by selling the stuff around Gram�s house.

Anyway, on the way, we made a brief side-trip to visit the area in which I used to live. WE drove past my favorite house. I was heart broken. This was the place where I did my growing up after the age of 10. 10 to 17, actually.

I loved that house. It was beautiful and large and� -sighs- I really miss it. Regardless, we drove past the house and discovered that it was completely, and I do mean completely, destroyed. It looked as if someone had ripped it to shreds. The only thing still intact was the fireplace and front wall, both of which were solid brick. The frame was still there, like you�d see in those commercials where the Amish town is building a barn� but the frame was all weathered. It�s been in this torn-down condition for more than a year.

What�s more, there�s trash, crap and scrap all over the tennis court in the back, the basketball hoop/backboard was broken and ripped down, and there was crap all over the covered, olympic size pool in the very back. The house next door, which had previously been in bad condition (the yard, not the house) was now built up. There was a sharp, upward embankment as if someone had been trying to raise a wall of earth between the �nice house� and the �fallin-down-house� so the �fallin-down-house� couldn�t be seen.

That house was so very beautiful. What�s more, I�ve found quite a few pictures lately which show that house in much glory. It�s� I don�t know, it�s where the majority of my good memories were made. That�s where I got to ride my horse (okay, so it was really the neighbor�s horse, but I was the only person who rode him). It was the first place where I actually had a place to go by myself, where no one could touch me, where no one could hurt me, where no one could insult me.

It was that place where I had my first taste of freedom� feeling the wind in my hair as Ramari and I would run through the fields. I could feel the breath slithering inside me, feuling me, making me whole, complete, encouraged, filled with joy, peace�

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bygones.

Anyway, so my favorite house, huge and fantastic in its majesty, is nothing more than a tooth-pick-cabin. It was more than just a house to me, it was a magical place.

I remember sitting in the rec-room, sitting in that wonderful, overstuffed chair, reading Anne McCaffrey�s Dragon Rider�s Of Pern books for the very first time. I remember sitting there, engrossed. I remember reading about F�lar finding Lessa. I remember, at that very second, the song �The Search is Over� coming on the radio. First time I�d ever heard the song and at just the exactly right time in the story. * chuckles*

I remember my brother and I actually practicing a skit in the rec room. We were doing a kind of flip-your-rifle type drill routine for our church Variety show. We were doing it to that slightly odd sounding instrumental song on the Ghost Busters soundtrack. I don�t remember the name of the song but it was someone�s theme. Right after that instrumental song was the slow, romantic instrumental theme named after Sigourney Weaver�s character.

Anyway�

I remember Pepper giving birth to her puppies in that bathroom downstairs. She was such a lady.

*shrugs *

Now it�s just a bunch of weathered lumber. No walls, no ceiling, no roof, just frame. The deck is gone. The wrap-around porch is gone. The front door itself is gone. It�s nothing more than a bunch of lumber. *shakes her head *

C�est la vie, non?

Oui.