So, here I am writing again. Amazing how that works, huh? What news do I have to relate? None� Just figured I�d come and write again.

Okay, so I actually do have news to relate, but I wanted you to wait for it.

I spoke with Duncan today. For quite a long while. He�s been sick lately and wanted to know where he could get some Mrs. Grass�s Chicken Noodle Soup. IF you have a nasty cold that just doesn�t want to let go, a Pepsi, Mrs. Grass�s Noodle Soup and plenty of water is the precise solution you need. *chuckles *

Anyway, had a long talk with him and told him that I respected him now, more than I used to. I apologized for a few of the things I did wrong in our relationship. And, he was also apologetic for some of the stuff he did. If things continue the way they�ve been going, within the next year, we may well be able to sit down at the same table and compare notes.

One of the things I�ve really wanted to do was connect with him, discuss some of the stuff that happened between us and find out what warning signs he saw and ignored. Maybe that doesn�t make sense, but I know I�ve spoken about this before.

I want the opportunity to pick his brain, ya know. Life is good and all, and I�m very happy with where I am.

My Grandmother, of course, has been talking to me about Duncan, asking me if I�m realy over him and if I don�t really love him still and don�t I want to have him back. *chuckles * Duncan and I were really, really good friends before the romance stuff happened. I would love for us to return to that friendship thing. AS far as the whole relationship thing is concerned, however, I have absolutely no intention of ever, ever, ever repeating that kind of mistake.

AS I told both my Grandmother and my Mother today, I do not now, nor will I ever, want to marry Duncan again. I want to purge the memories. Meaning, I want to get the chance to talk it out with Duncan, find out why he made certain choices and let him know why I made certain choices. But, I don�t want him as my husband. Thanks, already did that one.

What I would really like, my ideal, I�d love to have his friendship, have him as someone I can go out to the movies with once in a while. I�d like to meet his daughter. I�d like to go grab coffee with him once in a while. I�d like to be able to run to his apartment when my car is making a funny noise and have him just know what to do. (he was fully capable of that before we were married, but that ability to problem solve died when we got hitched)

I like him. I enjoy his companionship. I think he�s got a great sense of humor. HE�s a lot of fun. As long as there�s no sexual tension, we�re great friends. Since he�s got a girlfriend he�s serious about, and since I wouldn�t ever do that whole cheating thing, his girlfriend completely negates any chance of romance. Well, besides the fact that we were already married once and I would run a four minute mile before getting involved romantically. And y�all know exactly how likely a four minute mile is for me. Heh.

And I mean running with my own two legs, not running with a horse or in a car. *chuckles *

Regardless, I�m happy about the developments in the friendship with Duncan. I feel so much better when I don�t have enemies.

Oh, and I�ve been working on that whole forgiveness thing too. I�m still not doing so well. I hear negative words falling out of my mouth sometimes and it surprises me.

As it is, though, all is well. I�m learning how to do that whole forgiveness thing and it�s much healthier in this body.

My body is going to heal this year. By my Birthday this year, I�ll be much, much closer to sveldt.

I�ll be healthy. That�s the goal. I got mentally healthy for my birthday last year. I get physically healthy this year. I love this new trend of giving myself a special birthday present. *smiles *

Much love to all of you.

And, for those of you who haven't done so yet, go take my survey.

Tell Me What You Think Of Me.