Wellllllll

I must express my apologies for my behavior/treatment of you loyal readers as of late. *sighs* There's been a lot of shit goin down with a friend of mine.

I am not at liberty to get into the matter. It's just that my attention, effort and focus has been completely wrapped up in this difficulty. So, I apologize for slacking off with this diary.

Also, Diaryland was having brain surgery yesterday, so even tho I WANTED to edit my diaries, all of them, I simply did not have the ability to do so.

So, *big sigh* I must return to my duty.

I suppose the thing of most importance is to say this... Uncle Bob Fuckin Rocks, man. If you haven't checked out Uncle Bob yet, then you are missing out. You see, Uncle Bob has worked his way up the ranks of poor, misguided diarylanders. Uncle Bob has sweated, wracked his brain, trudged through miles upon miles of red tape, floppy disks and hard drives... Uncle Bob has typed his poor fingers to bloody bones. Uncle Bob has broken every rule of conventional warfare...... wait, no, that's Marcinko... Nevermind.

Uncle Bob is my hero. You see, a while back, there was someone who had been really nasty to me. I'd complained about it here, in this forum, back before anyone knew I existed.... a few days later I was reading Uncle Bob's diary and he had talked about something similar, but from a third-person perspective.

I started laughing my ass off. I couldn't help it. I just read and re-read that column. *chuckles* Uncle Bob just kinda had that coincidence thing going on. The situation in his column was so similar it was uncanny. And yet, Uncle Bob told it from a point of view which began a wave of laughter that brightened my entire week and turned the whole flippin month around for me. No lie.

So, it is my suggestion that you check out Uncle Bob. You will be adding 20 years to your life. I believe that there are some people out there who have some incredible computing skills. Those of you who can write programs and all... Well, I have a project to put forth for ya...

We need an Uncle Bob program. Some game or animated thing where our beloved Uncle Bob is the main figure. We need a sound program with Uncle Bob being the DJ... with Uncle Bob T-shirts... Uncle Bob lunch boxes... Uncle Bob Marrital aides. *grins* well, okay, maybe Susie, Mrs. Uncle Bob would have something to say about that... But still...

We need to have some Pac-Man-esque game where Uncle Bob gobbles up little baked beans or something... Where instead of "ghosts" Uncle Bob is persued by wheels of cheese. And instead of a power nugget or whatever, Uncle Bob could find a Lactaid or something like that... one of those pills to aide the digestion of the lactose intollerant.

But, that wouldn't be accurate. Uncle Bob's not physiologically lactose intollerant. Uncle Bob's just unwilling to tollerate lactose. *chuckles*

Or, how bout some Donkey Kong-esque game. Something were Uncle Bob is the final level... the prize when you've traversed all the diaries in the maze. You have to jump over negative critics, duck under low hanging, dangling participles...

Uncle Bob would be on the final screen, sitting upon his throne, raking a hand through his hair and grinning in that sarcastic way... just before he pushes the lever to knock the floor right out from under you, making you struggle to get all the way back up to his throne room...

*shrugs*

Hmmmm, think about all the ways we could advertise our Uncle Bob. First off, via the net, we'd have to sign Uncle Bob up with Alta Vista search engine.

We'd have to commission the world's best PR firm. I can see tours... Hell, Uncle Bob is no stranger to the limelight. After all, wasn't it our darling Uncle Bob who pulled double duty being the high-fashion escort? Uncle Bob and Heidi Fliess??? Or however her name is spelled.

How about Uncle Bob "Pump" Basketball shoes?

Uncle Bob Guitars.

Uncle Bob writing tablets.

Uncle Bob text book covers.

Uncle Bob piano strings.

Uncle Bob brand crock pots.

Uncle Bob Dog Bisquits. *grins*

Okay, so I"ve gone Uncle Bob happy. Can you really blame me? I have been impressed by, humored by, listened to been able to communicate with Uncle Bob repeatedly. I feel a connection to him. And I would be willing to bet that those of you out there who have either not read him yet, or who have stopped reading him, would find that warmth and laughter if you chose to return to his feet and learn from the mouth of the master.

Or something.

Suffice it to say, I love my Uncle Bob and am a loyal member of his Army 2000. Were I more awake, I would be able to come up with something really funny. I think I spent it on the Pac Man thing, tho. That's really where the flow of this entry got waylaid.

*chuckles*

Anyway, I need to go get some rest. Tomorrow night's my night with Uncle Bob. I'm the mother of his cyber-child, dontcha know. *chuckles*

Peace unto thy hearts, folks.

And don't forget... Be sure to check out Uncle Bob's diary. it's worth your time.

Love and kisses, mine dahlinks...