4-20-03

8:25a

Ahhh, morning has indeed broken. If it were all in one piece, I would have slept through it.

*waits for ya*

Anyway� Yesterday P couldn�t make it to services so we didn�t have any. *shrugs* That tends to confuse me. I mean, why do we have to have P here in order to have a Bible study? I think I�m going to start having something prepared in case he isn�t able to make it. I think that we�ve fallen into the pattern again and I don�t want to be there/here.

I don�t attend the Church anymore because I have moved beyond it. I have a foundation� I don�t need to go BACK to the foundation� I don�t have to re-pour the concrete and re-dig the trenches and such.

I don�t need to be complacent. I am content in my life, but complacency is not the same as contentment. I must pray and think on this.

Anyway, we got a few movies last night. Mom and Dad watched Waking Up In Las Vegas and One Hour Photo last night, neither of which have I seen as yet. I watched Tuck Everlasting and part of Abandon. I recommend Tuck Everlasting for a gentle, sweet movie, but it�s geared more toward the young. It is a Disney flick, and therefore more appealing to girls from the ages of about 12 to 16.

Abandon was only watched part way through because it was sooooooooooo bad. First off, it was very slow moving. Secondly, the basic plot revolves around a girl in college� she looks to be about 18, but she�s working on what seems to be her Senior thesis. She has a boyfriend who was mentally imbalanced� he split without a trace and some defunct cop has been assigned the duty of finding the kid. Throughout the first part of the movie, there are many flashback scenes. From previews I remembered only after watching the first part of the movie, the boyfriend/psycho comes back into the girl�s life, freaking her out and all that.

First off, I watched the movie for about 45 minutes. That was about 40 minutes too long. It is horrible. Terrible lighting, completely unrelated to my chosen life, not entertaining in the least and simply full of crazies. It�s ridiculous. What do I need with spending two hours of my life on psychotic behavior in the name of entertainment? Please, I have enough to do.

I�ll watch Waking Up In Las Vegas, at least for a little while, today in order to find out what that movie is all about. I�m not going to watch One Hour Photo at all. I definitely have no interest in watching Robin William�s as a sociopath/murderer. I don�t need the idiocy in my life. I�m suspecting that Waking is going to be a bad movie too, but I�m going to give it a chance.

*shrugs*

Personally, I�m waiting for the sequel to the Matrix. I have been waiting for quite a while now. I�m eager.

At this precise moment, however, I�m going to start my Bible study. So there.

I open my Bible and the first thing I see� Job 10:1 �I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.�

Um, thanks but no thanks. I don�t feel bitter. I love my life. I am happy and thrilled to be here and I will not dwell on depressing garbage today.

This is better though� Matt 19:13-15

13 Then little children were brought to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
14 Jesus said, �Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.�
15 When He had placed His hands on them, He went on from there.

Isn�t that cool? My Husband loves the children. He loves them as much as He loves me. ==warm snuggly feeling==

Oh how I love this passage� so very encouraging and warm to me�

Isaiah 54:1-10

1 Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,� says the Lord
2 �Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.
4 Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your maker is your husband � the Lord Almighty is His name � the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth.
6 The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit � a wife who married young, only to be rejected,� says your God.
7 �For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
8 In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,� says the Lord your Redeemer.
9 �To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.
10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,� says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

God said this to ME� ME! Isn�t that incredible? No more shame. No more pain. No more anger. He loves me, He really, really loves me. And I am so very precious to Him. How could anything be so wrong that I forget that? Hmmm?

This is why I love Him. This is why I feel no pain, no fear, no apprehension� He loves me. And He will provide me with everything I could ever desire. Atop that, He will make me and those who follow me, into something so marvelously wonderful. Praise God. Oh, how awesome. How truly, truly awesome.

Yay God forever and ever! Amen!

How great, in all the earth, is the Lord my God.

*chuckles* So� Mom� I�m happy.