I haven't, exactly, stopped writing. I've just been writing in other places. And I'm not talking diary, though I do have a sort of journal which is more like a series of letters to the boyfriend. That, however, is one of those fancy, leather-bound jobs.

I've been spending most of my time on RPoL a role play site where you can play pretty much any type of game you could imagine. I enjoy this greatly and it occupies most of my online time.

Bear occupies a great deal of my time as well. And yes, that's a new development in my life. A boyfriend. Go figure.

I met him through RPoL, through a Pirates of the Caribean type game. Commander Steele... well... he stole my heart. He didn't steal it so much as accepted it. Heh.

Next month, when I upgrade this little journal thing to image-worthy status, I may well post a few pics of Bear. I will, of course, get his permission first. After all, that's only polite.

And, I'll get his permission before I tell all about him. Suffice it to say, I'm fully and completely in love. And I like that. It's been a while.

I've been singing quite a bit. I've been attending the little church out here for a while and... well, I like being part of the music team. Sort of... I really am not that much of a team player, as if you didn't already know that, but I like the harmonies. And, the weekly singing does something for me. I'm not quite sure what, yet, but it does something.

I've been out with a nasty cold/flu thing for the past two weeks, but all in all I'm doing all right.

On the negative side, I've actually gained weight, which really torques me off. My back hurts more and walking is more difficult, but eventually I'm going to get off my ass and push through the pain in order to collect the positive result.

I think what I'd really like to do is get back into weight lifting. The main problem with that is that most every exercise requires some form of movement through the lumbar region. Since that's where the bones are disolving/crumbling apart, that kinda hurts. Heh. Go figure.

Truth be told, I'm doing a lot of battle between present comfort and future comfort. As most of you probably know quite well, comfort is of great importance to me. Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual... all these. My comfort is of great importance. Well, the thing is, the body is really getting to be extremely UNcomfortable. So, I'm working on the whole losing weight thing, but man, that one's tough.

I'm sure the actual losing weight isn't difficult, it's forcing myself away from the comfort of normal habits in order to achieve future comfort of a better physical health.

Eh... same old same old.

Life is good and I'm still in it.

Of course, I have been talking with Mom this morning about Gram's memorial service. Gram hasn't died yet, but the suspicion is that she will soon. She had hip surgery this last week and is not recovering well.

They wouldn't give her sufficient pain meds because they wanted her to try to recover, or some such crap.

My thought is that she should be given all the pain meds she wants. She should be allowed to sleep day or night or both. She's 86 years old, she's lived the last fifty years of her life alone. She's been a strong, vibrant, take-no-prisoners type woman all her life. Why should she be reduced to weakness and frailty now?

I figure, let her die. Let her go. Remember her by living a full and productive life. Remember her by NOT repeating the mistakes she made. Remember her by celebrating the fact that she no longer has to feel pain. Besides, this physical life is only the beginning.

Eh, but that gets into my philosophies and other such blather; such things as aren't pertinent at this moment in time.

As Gram used to say, "Bring me flowers when I'm alive." So, quit the whole boohooing thing and the sorrow and such. Let her sleep when she wants to sleep. Let her spend the last bits of her life high on pain meds. They can be a lot of fun. She's 86 years old. Hell, if she makes it to February 5th, she'll be 87. That was good life. Let her go.

*shrugs* Just my opinion.

Toodles!