Hmmmmm, can we say surgical procedure to remove foot from stomach? Yeah, I shoved my foot in it, that deep.

Okay... I hang my head in shame. I give apologies up the wazzu to Donny. And I've removed the link as per his request. I'm so, so, so sorry, Donny. I never, never meant to offend you.

I find myself in the same position time and time again. I try, so desperately, to communicate what I really want to say... and someone reads it, and interprets something different. And then they're offended and I feel like shit because I've offended someone and gah.... I just hate that. I don't want to irritate, offend and tick people off.

So, Donny... I"m sorry for having offended you. I've removed your link as per your request. If any of the rest of you wish me to remove your links... all you need to do is tell me so. I'll remove them.

However, I truly did not mean to offend.

I'm refering to my diary entry of two days ago, when I was talking about "character". I was talking in an ideal setting. In my personal opinion of ideal. NOT reality. With the percentages I came up with, they were strictly from the air. Just a wild exageration of facts I didn't and don't have. My comment about the gay population being nearly completely of low moral character was not intended to sound that way.

My comments were these...

In my completely contrived idealistic world, people who have sex outside of marriage are of less than high morals. That's in my interpretation of an idealistic world. A fantasy. Secondly, the only reason nearly all homosexual people would be considered of less than high moral standards is because in most states (since I'm from the US) still consider same-sex marriages to be illegal. That is the only reason. Thirdly, I do NOT believe that the man I spoke about exists. I really don't. I don't believe there is a man out there (or a woman either) who desires only one person in their entire life. I just don't think people are "built" that way.

I don't know if that clarifies what I was trying to say, or if that just muddies the waters further. *sighs*

I do not apologize for what I said, only how I said it. I apologize for not clarifying at the beginning of the post, that I was speaking... well... basically, in a hypothetical sense. I personally believe that there are some gays who believe that straights are of non-existant moral character. *shrugs*

For my own piece of mind... I don't use the word "gays" as a dispariging slur. I use that word because I hate the sound of "homo", and I think that "homosexual" is just... too clinical. The word "homosexual" seems so... impersonal to me. *smiles softly* One of my best friends has discovered she is gay. I have no problem with that. I don't think she is of low class, or low moral character. I think she's cool.

I have read Mr Plutonium, QueerScribe and Quatre for quite a while. I think each of them are people with intelligence, kindness, character, honor, morals and ethics. I think each of them is great and wonderful. I have absolutely nothing against same-sex relationships. Hell... I have experimented with the idea. *smiles softly*

I would have gone farther with that experimentation had a few choices been laid before me.

I do not, under any circumstances, think, feel or believe that people who are attracted to the same gender are less in any way, shape or form, than those who are attracted to the opposite gender. I understand very little of homosexuality. I know what I like, I know what I don't like. I know that I won't be involved in any other threesomes... *shrugs* That is my personal choice.

Again, the only reason the homosexual population would be considered less moral in the fantasy idealistic scenario is because same-sex marriages are still primarily illegal.

I do NOT believe that people who have sex outside of marriage are of lesser moral fibre. I believe that they have made choices which work for them. MY personal choice is to abstain from all sexual activity until after I'm married. simply because every heart ache I've ever endured, every emotional pain I incurred in any type of relationship began with sexual thought, conversation or activity. I simply choose to try something different this time around.

So, Please, please, please don't think that I think any less of anyone. Please. If I don't know you, I generally don't have any negative opinion.

There is really only one exception to that. I do not, under any circumstances, agree with or appreciate sexual interaction of any kind with minors. I can understand it. I know of a few people who have been involved in such, but I don't like it and I don't agree with it. I do think that those who have sexual interaction with minors are of questionable morals/ethics.

If I offend on that one... *smiles faintly* I'm sorry for your being offended, but that's what I believe. And I'm not backing down from that. I have been very closely involved with some individuals who have undergone molestation, rape and who have been sexually pressured. *shakes her head* I don't like it. And I don't like the long-term effects either.

By minors, I don't mean someone 18 fucking someone 17, tho I'm not keen on that idea... it doesn't bother me so much... the part that bothers me is when someone 24 thinks it's cool to be sexually chatting up some 10 year old. *shakes her head* That just...... is disgusting to me. I detest pedophilia.

I do not detest the pedophile. I don't detest the person. I detest the act. There is a very big difference in my mind. And I can, very successfully, separate the two.

Now, I'm just going to close this cause I know if I talk any more, I'm going to say something that is unclear. I don't want confusion or misconception. I don't want to offend. I really, really don't.

Everything I say in this diary is really just my opinion. None of it is fact. None of it is law. None of it is written in stone. All of it is just opinions and ideas that come from my head.

I'm still quite an idealistic person. I have my ideals. I just know that this world is not copacetic with my ideals. *smiles softly* It just isn't gonna happen. I accepted that a little while ago. Probably about an hour or so ago, if I remember correctly.

*chuckles softly*

Seriously tho... I do not hate people. I do not despise people. I do not despise or hate or feel disgust with individuals. I feel disgust, hate and irritation with actions and behaviors. Every person has their own right to choose their own life. I am the absolutel last person/thing on this earth who has a right to tear down someone else for choices they made.

*smiles softly*

So, Donny, I'm sorry. And Malkavia and MrPlutonium as well... I'm sorry for having caused offense, irritation or concern. I do NOT believe I am any authority on anything. Except, maybe, me. *shakes her head* Nope, not even on me. *smiles softly*

Peace unto thy hearts.

After this entry was written, I checked my message board again and found that Donny and Mr Plutonium had responded to my responses. So, I will re-add Donny's link if that's okay.

I have a really bad time with guilt. *smiles softly* I don't just "feel" guilty, I get physically ill when I know I've done something to hurt someone else, even a little bit. Please, if I offend, let me know right away. I will do whatever I can to make up for my offense. I don't like offending people. I like healing and helping people. Again, I am sorry for not clarifying my statements. I will try much harder in the future.

Thank you for your time and your willingness to read me. It does make a difference in my life. Each of you who read these words is a gift to me. I believe that. Thank you.

Jennifer