Mmmmmmmmmmmm... the nic-fit has been sated...

*sighs*

I'm talking with a friend of mine. She used to live in Washtington too, but now she's on the East Coast. Anyway, During the two years we've been writing back and forth and talking in chat and role playing together we never discussed where we were.

I just dawned on me a few months back (after an extremely MILD game of Truth or Dare) that she has come to this town so many times, it's pathetic. And, she's been here while I've lived here.

Amazing what you miss when you're a recluse, eh?

Ya know... One of the things my ex never took into consideration, is that this female I'm speaking with at this time, was bi-curious. And, as we've already discussed, I've done a little bi-sexual experimentation.

He would have been thrilled to know that she was interested in me. And vice versa. And he would have been physically appealing to her as well. He would have been in a win-win situation. *laughs* Or maybe not... I do have a way of making the female think of nothing but me. However, that's for another topic.

And, for that matter, I shouldn't be talking about it anyway. After all, My Mother DOES read this diary every once in a while. I'm sort of hoping she'll just skip over this entry. She knows what I did with Shari, but she also knows that I will never do it again.

*sighs, absentmidedly wondering once again about her ability to jump tracks five times in the space of one paragraph* Ya know... you're all real lucky that I didn't actually type out all the things that were going through my mind. *chuckles quietly*

I'm going on the assumption that my Mother is NOT going to read this entry, cause I'm just feeling a little.... dunno... experimental?

I personally know that I will never have another same-sex experience IRL. But I can not deny that the desire is there. Especially with this friend of mine. She's so extremely attractive to me.

So, for those of you who are turned on my sexual situations, continue reading. For those of you who do not like sexual situations, stop reading now and join me on my next post.

LAST WARNING: If sexual situations bother you... stop reading now!!!

Anyway, the idea of being with this friend has occurred to me many times. Starting with a sweet, chance meeting on the beach. Since I live here and she visits once in a while, I'm sure that she and I will have one of those chance meetings sooner or later.

Anyway, imagine it... Walking along the board walk. The ocean pounding ceaselessly to the West, bright blue sky beckoning to the evening... The wind blowing from the South and West. Seagulls crying for their supper of French Bread and scraps from the bakery (best Bakery in the world, by the by)...

Pausing to toss a few chunks of bread into the air, watching the gulls dive and swoop to catch them out of the air... then, reaching down to grab up a piece that the gulls didn't catch, only to brush your fingers against those of a person you've been hoping and dreaming about for years...

Slowly you straighten up, your eyes traveling up those legs, along the torso, up to eyes so pure and simple, yet with such amazing complexity... And your heart stops for just a moment as you watch those eyes, knowing, even tho you've never seen them before, that you know them. That you know everything behind them, everything within them...

And the world stops. You stand there with bread crumbling in your hands, your breath frozen in your lungs, your heart stopping because you've just seen your friend of eons looking back into your face.......

Oh, nevermind. I'm now thinking of someone else. I just described a day Bryan and I were on the beach. My cover is blown. My thoughts have revolted against me and have turned to follow the path which leads to such bitter-sweet pain.

Makes me wonder just how long I'll be harboring this feeling. I don't know if he'll ever realize how perfect it could be for us. Or, maybe he just doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he never will.....

but.... my god..... his eyes.

He felt it. I know he did. I could see it in his eyes.

Was I just a fling? I mean, for a fling, dontcha really have to have sex?

Maybe I was just a "vacation chick" to him. Maybe.......

Nevermind. I don't want to think about it right now.

Hmmmmmm. I think I'll go work on some poetry for a while. Or maybe I'll actually put some effort into my business that I'm starting. Then I might get some fundage, ya know? *smirks*

Anyway... I gotta jet out for now.

Love to you, kiddies.

Peace unto thy hearts.

J

AKA

Tiger