So yet again I am awakened from a dream. I don't want to talk about the dream itself, but a strange thing I did as I was waking up.

As I became aware of the actual situation I was in, in the dream, I exchanged the character of myself, with Tiger, my RP character. 'Cause I didn't feel comfortable with me saying/doing the stuff in the dream scenario.

This isn't any new truth or anything to me, but a simple affirmation of something I'm extremely familiar with. I hate the fact that there are some people I just don't care about.

Okay, so I know that this is wierd and disjointed in the extreme. Let me see if I can make it a little more clear. But not now. Right now I have to wake up a little more. I need to go let Joey out and grab something to drink. When I come back, though you won't know I've left, (in the time-sense) I'll be able to actually, clearly, communicate my thoughts.

Okay, so you might know I was gone, being as how I didn't post this yesterday like I'd intended to. *Chuckles* Regardless, let me see if I can clarify what I meant by the above.

The thing that I think is so funny, in an oh-that's-interesting sort of way, is that when I realized, on a conscious level, that I was behaving in a manner I didn't like, I changed the identity of the main role in the dream.

As I said, I've done this before. This isn't any new truth. I just thought it was kinda funny. I'm bee-boppin along in my dream, being pretty careless about other people's feelings/thoughts. As soon as I realize that I'm being so rude, I can't handle that. I can't handle the thought of me, personally, being so careless with another person's emotions. So I took myself out of the scenario and put Tiger in my place.

*Chuckles* Sometimes I wish I could do that in real life. Just hollar out, "CUT!" then put some actor/actress in my place. YES, I have an emotional stunt-double. *grins*

Then, in an almost-related way, I want to discuss this new idea I have. Theory, I guess, would be the more accurate title. Regardless, I was talking with my sister a while back. We were discussing how minds work and such and I"d made an analogy to carnival rides and personalities.

So, I was discussing this again, with my Mom tonight. I think that there needs to be some sort of skit or something about this..... Perhaps some serious research too.

The point... My sister really likes the roller coaster. She loves it. And, she herself is like a roller coaster. It's really interesting to me. She runs on extremes, her mind follows tracks in bizarre directions that make absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

She is like a roller coaster. Sometimes she struggles with an idea, like the upswing of a roller coaster. Climbing slowly, grinding out each step. But then, sometimes she's just going hell-bent-for-leather, like the down side, flying and screaching. And she moves in loops and twists and upsidedown and all that stuff. Her emotions follow the same path. Up and down, fast and slow, upside down and sometimes backwards. Twisting and turning.

I, on the other hand, am a little different. I seem to spin and different levels. Many different thoughts going all at the same time, but spinning really quickly. And my emotions do that too, I can move from one to the other, like an electric arc. But, most of the time, I'm pretty even keel. I don't do too many extreme highs and lows. Neither with emotion or idea. My mind/emotions are like the Scrambler. It goes really fast, but there are many, many, many parts and they're all spinning on their own axese (sp). Ideas jump from section to section, but if you keep your eyes open inside my mind, you might get sick. It's all a blur cause you see something new every second.

I've described it like a kaliedescope of colors, images and sounds in a whirling blender, spinning at a million miles an hour. All inside a mirrored disco ball so that all the ideas and thoughts and images and colors and such are bouncing off each other, even tho most of them never quite touch. But, all of that with very few ups and downs. I don't do the whole emotional extreme thing much. Never really did. For me, hysterical is a shortness of breath and sometimes a tremulous voice, but it's over quickly. Dunno if I explained that clearly or not, but right now I can't really find other words for it.

Then we have my mother. She stays pretty even keel most of the time, but she has some real highs and lows too. She goes to extremes both with her emotions and ideas. She spins sometimes too, but not as fast nor as confusingly as I do. She's more like the Octopus. And, that's her favorite carnival ride.

See what I'm getting at?

My grandmother? I don't know what her favorite carnival ride is, but the one she is really similar to is the Zipper. Well, I don't know if that's what it's called anymore, but it's what I know. Extreme highs and lows of thought and emotion. Especially in her younger days. Sometimes, she'll be on an even keel with thoughts, and extreme ends of one specific emtion. It's wierd. My grandmother, when younger, was at extremes in one way or the other. Really happy, really pissed, really sad, really peaceful. It's like there was never a mid-ground with her.

And then, there are some people I know who never ride the carnival rides. They stay in the booths. Sometimes they're just pushing through cause that's all they do, losing cause that's what they're supposed to do, but once in a while, they hit the winner, just cause that's what the odds say they will do.

And there are some people who are like the marry-go-round. My father's mother is like that. Gramma Z is pretty much the same all the time. Once in a while you have some fluctuation, but her ideas, thoughts, emotions don't change enough to even mention. The first time you ride the merry-go-round, it can be interesting and lots of fun, but unless you like the same thing every time, it's not gonna be any fun. She has the same ideas every time. The same complaints and the same emotions. And no matter how hard, long or fast she goes, she always ends up in the same place.

Anyway... think about that. Do you know of anyone who is like their favorite carnival ride? If so, lemme know. I want to know if there's anyone out there who'd be interested in helping me out in this unofficial research project. Leave messages on my message board, or Email me.

Love and all to you and yours, mine dahlinks.