So, I'm still listening to Iris.

I was talking with Mom about this song a few days ago. I told her how much I loved it and that I didn't think it could mean as much to anyone else. She thought it was a great song too, but that I liked it because of the movie it was featured in and written for... City Of Angels

Nope.

I like this song because it's simply perfect. It's just.... perfect.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
and I don't wanna go home right now

and all I can taste is this moment
and all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

and I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
'when everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

and I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

and I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am.

Damn. The lyrics, the music, it just.... grabs hold of me and won't let go.

Not that I really want it to...

And I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
and I don't wanna go home right now

I don't know that I"d give up forever, but I have certainly felt that way. And, I do believe that the man who is truly meant for me can feel me somehow. I believe that once we're married he will be the closest to heaven, and I won't ever wanna go home if it means I'll have to be away from him.

and all I can taste is this moment
and all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

I have so felt that way... and I can imagine it... I want our bond to be so tight that all I can taste is the moment with him, and that all I can breathe is his life. And I know that all things will end. Death will eventually seperate us, but I don't want to miss him. And, even tonight, tho I don't know who he is... I don't want to miss him. I just.... I just don't want to miss him any more.

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
when everything seems to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Damn it... I don't want the world to see me, cause I KNOW they wouldn't understand. You can't understand that unless you've felt it. I believe in my heart of hearts, that most everyone has felt that. But man, it sure as hell seems that everything is made to be broken now-a-days. And I want HIM to know who I am. I want HIM to know everything about me. I want him to see everything I am and everything I had ever hoped to be and..... I want him to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I can't fight tears that won't come. And as most have noticed lately, there are truths that I'm finally seeing in all the lies I've told myself. And life, so often, lately... it just feels like the movies. And I have felt like bleeding just to prove I'm alive. Hell, I did once, a long time ago. But man... I have bled just to prove to myself that I was still alive.

*sighs*

Okay, I'm going to shut the song off, cause I'm just living within it too much.

This was good tho... a very good, pseudo-catharsis.

I don't dwell on this song like this all that often... but sometimes, it just feels right to be bathed in the smells, sights and feel of this music, these words and the feelings/images they invoke.

Peace unto thy hearts, friends.

PS: I'm not suicidal or anything close to it. I'm happy. Very, very happy. I know I'll get married when the time is right. Not now, but in the near future.

Til then, I'll keep feeling my as-yet-unknown husband through the words and music of this song.