Alright, two in a row. Ya gotta love me...

I got this from Sympatico. Actually, I got the URL from Sympatico. BUt I had to share this. It's just way too funny to be believed.

Well, it is in my opinion anyway. I suppose it would be funnier if you knew the people involved. *grins* I see the names and it's... well... hillarious.

Tootles...

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Jennifer is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Melissa. So everyone please put your hands together for Jennifer!

Jerry: Okay, now Jennifer you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other persons name?

You: Charles.

The crowd SQUEALS with delight.

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Charles, is actually here tonight -

The crowd SQUEALS.

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Jennifer, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Josh!

You: What the HELL!!!

Out of nowhere you pull out a Celtic crossbow. Josh reaches for the Satinique divan, buffed to a high shine. Out of the shadows Ben appears.

Ben: Wait everybody wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Josh.

Josh: Because I saw Jennifer and Ben making out at Waikiki beach!

The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.

Ben: That's a lie! I was home watching MacGuyver!

Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Josh?

Josh: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Melissa who has recently become engaged to Ben.

The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Melissa out here because Jennifer had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Charles that's right!

Melissa: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Charles! You know I'm how I feel about Charles!.

Ben: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Charles!

Melissa: Because I knew that I could never have Charles. But Jennifer promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Ben: What about respect for MY feelings!

Josh walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Melissa.

Josh: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

Again the crowd SQUEALS.

Ben: Oh my God! Are you SICK!

Ben runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.

Ben: Jennifer take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...

The crowd does its bit.

Ben: Married?

You nod.

Ben: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Charles.

Melissa: (screaming) WHAT!!!

Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?

Charles: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 27 times if that's what you mean.

The crowd squeals.

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Jennifer is married to Charles who Melissa has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Melissa has recently become engaged to Ben who was recently spotted kissing Jennifer in the Waikiki beach. Now on top of this Josh has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Melissa.

Charles: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.

Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

If you'd like to do this, go check out

Simnet It's the sixth link from the bottom-left. The Jerry Springer Show.

I'm going to go play around with this site a little more. Thanks for playing.

*grins*