Well, what can I say? I just saw this one and had to post my own advice. I'm thinking about starting a legit advice column here. You send me an Email or leave a note or guestbook entry with a question/problem and I'll give you my honest, no bullshit advice.

However, be aware, I often get rather... erm... blunt when giving advice.

So, without further ado...

Dear Ann Landers:

I have been married for 20 years. My husband is a blue-collar guy who works hard to support his family. I also work full time, and when I come home, I take care of all the household duties, including cooking and cleaning.

My husband leaves his work shirt and pants on the floor wherever he happens to be undressing. He expects me to pick them up, wash them and put them in the closet. I have done this for years, but I always resented it. I have asked him to please put his work clothes in the hamper as a courtesy to me, but he won't do it.

Two months ago, he dropped his good suit on the floor. I asked him to hang it up. He refused. I told him I wasn't going to pick it up for him. Well, Ann, it has been on the floor ever since. As far as he's concerned, it can grow roots and stay there, but it's getting to me. Should I give in? -- Weakening in Buffalo, N.Y.

Dear Buffalo:

Some things are worth digging in your heels and hanging tough for, but this is not one of them. Two months is a long time for your husband's good suit to be on the floor, especially since the only person suffering is you. For your own peace of mind, please pick it up and put it on a hanger. Say nothing. Granted, your husband is stubborn and inconsiderate, but after 20 years of marriage, you are not likely to change him. (P.S. When he sees that you did pick up the suit, he is sure to feel a bit ashamed of himself.)

Oh, Ann, you are so very wrong this time.

First off, he's not going to feel ashamed of himself, he's going to feel justified. The thought running through his mind will be something akin to, "See, I knew she'd cave before me!"

What this dear wife should do, no lie, She should pick up all his clothes as he drops them and leave them on his side of the bed. Don't wash his clothes if he is unwilling to do his part, (putting the laundry IN the hamper) then he can be responsible for his own clothing. He can get off his lazy M.F. ass and learn how to operate the washing machine.

Wife, dear, wash your clothes and those of your children. When your husband bitches about where his clean work clothes are, tell him that he didn't do his part, so he can take responsibility for his own work attire. Offer to give him instructions on how to run the washing machine. If he doesn't like that, then he can either live/work in dirty clothing, he can do his own laundry, or he can put his clothing in the hamper.

Thus sayeth the Jennifer!

Or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ann Landers:

I have been engaged to "Norville" for four years, and we have been living together for the past 10 months. I am having trouble following his "house rules" and hope you can tell me if I am overreacting.

Every night, Norville takes a shower before getting into bed. He insists that I take a shower, too. There is nothing romantic about this arrangement. Norville has some kind of phobia about germs and will not permit me to get into bed if I have not showered immediately before. If I want to lie down for a short nap, I must shower first. It doesn't matter if I showered that morning, he says if I touch the bed, it has been "contaminated."

Norville has a few other peculiarities, but this one bothers me the most. I love him a lot, Ann, but I don't know if I can live like this. Does he have a problem, or do I?

-- No Slob in Pittsburgh

Dear Pittsburgh:

Do you want to be married to a control freak who may also be obsessive-compulsive? If the answer is "yes," Norville is just the man for you.

People who are obsessed with germs and cleanliness need professional help to overcome their phobias and compulsions. If Norville is willing to admit he has a problem, I recommend he contact the Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation, 337 Notch Hill Rd., North Branford, CT 06471 (www.ocfoundation.org).

Actually, have "Norvil" move in with my ex for a month, that'll cure his incessant need to have you shower before bed. Trust me. Anything after living with my ex will seem like he's living in a sterilization room!

Anyway, that's it for me tonight.

Stay safe, folks.