Why is it so important to have sex?

I think I'm the only person left in this world who believes... REALLY BELIEVES... that sex belongs IN marriage only. That there is no place for sex outside of marrage.

I would really like to hear from some of you... let me know if there is anyone else out there who believes in true monogomy.

You know, the meaning of the word monogomy is ONE PARTNER. Not the common meaning now, of one partner at a time. True monogamy is having one sexual partner in life. Just one. Your life mate. Husband/Wife. Not the flavor of the week

*sighs* So, how important is a like-minded view, to me? How important is it that my next boyfriend/husband have the same opinions? Or at least similar?

*smiles softly*

Is it wrong to want morals? Is it wrong to demand high standards? To want a man who *shocked gasp* might possibly be a virgin?

Are there any men out there who are virgins anymore? Men of comperable age to me, 26 or older...

*sighs*

I want a man 6'2", aproximately 240 lbs or more. preferably more. Broad shoulders, thick chest, long legs, kind eyes, soft-spoken voice, gentle disposition. He must be of similar religious opinion. He must have no more than two previous lovers.

But, what does it matter? There isn't a man out there who fits that. There isn't one.

The men in this world (generally speaking) care about sex and getting their way. That's all. They do their work, they fuck their bitches and they stomp all over the hearts and souls of those who were stupid enough to care.

*rolls her eyes* Okay, so maybe I'm a little bitter today. I was having a conversation with a trusted and heavily rellied upon friend. I trust him and enjoy his company online. He's one of the few males I've ever met who doesn't have sex on the brain. Who doesn't talk about how much he wants it and the like.

*sighs*

Over the past few weeks, he and I have been talking a lot more lately. Pretty much every day, one on one conversation, all out, mind to mind. And the bells and whistles and alarms are clanging and screaming at me at such a volume I'm sure you can hear it in Florida.

I like him. I think he's cool. BUT, I don't want to be in a romantic relationship with him. Partially because he lives two thousand miles away. Partially because he has a different mentality than I. Partially because he's just not everything on my list. *smiles softly*

But I feel that slide going on... that pull... I can feel myself saying, in that small, internal voice...

But he's intelligent.

And kind

And your mother likes him

And you could do a hell of a lot worse.

And he's attractive

And he's strong enough to protect you

And he's tall

And he finds something of value in you, enough that he continues to speak with you day after day.

And his sense of humor is so complete and well-rounded.

But, then reality rears it's hoary head... He's two thousand miles away. He's Southern. He's male. I'm way too jaded and bitter to damage him the way I would. *smiles sadly* God it hurts so bad to know that there's such a wonderful man out there, who is so very intelligent and soft spoken and kind while being human. And he's tall. And he's physically perfect.

But I'd kill him. I'd break him in half.

I'd fuck him over. Because what I WANT is the acceptance, the love and tenderness, the gentle touch the holding the kind compassion... but I don't love him. Not in a life-mate/Husband type way. I've been friends with him for nearly three years. I'm deeply honored to know that he consideres me a friend.

But I'm deadly with relationships. I was ripped to shreds in my marriage.

I ripped my husband apart throughout the divorce. Or rather, before the divorce. After I made my choice, he decided to fuck.......... *sighs*

Never mind.

suffice it to say... I like him, but not enough to promise my life to him. And not enough risk ripping him to hell. But he's attractive to me. Specifically because he's mentally healthy.

That's not something I see very often.

he's a good option for my sister, but he doesn't deserve her mouth. He deserves someone more gentle and tender...

Of course, that's my opinion.

*sighs* This was totally pointless. And will probably insight more riot than is necessary. But that's apropos. Hell... he and I were talking about war and such...

I'm so bad at conversations like that. I'm so against war. Not that I think all wars should never happen, or that if I could prove my point, there'd never be another fight... I'm not that stupid.

But, I do wonder, often, why people have to fight. What's the purpose. In my personal opinion, the whole purpose of war, in this day and age, is to see who's got the bigger dick. It's all a power struggle. And I don't like that.

But, I guess my antagonistic attitude toward war is basically caused by my past. Which I really don't want to get into here and now. It's not really conversation I'm interested in sharing with the world.

I guess the reason I don't like war is because when I was a kid I grew up in a war zone. Verbal and emotional bombs going off at every turn. Land mines, the whole deal. Not a physical war zone. I mean, no gunfire and shit. But abusive and the like. *shrugs* Everyone has a story like this in their past. It's not like mine means jack shit.

It was hell and I don't want anyone else to ever have to endure that fear, that terror, that pain. I've lived through it, I don't want to have to feel it, see it, hear it, ever again. Never. I want to move on and not have to see the blood running down the face... not see the bruises, not see the emotional scars even if I'm the only one wearing them.

*shrugs*

Not like it matters much.

I gotta jet out and buy groceries and shit.

Peace unto thy hearts...

J