:::Warning, this entry extremely cyclonic. I jump around to a million different topics with nothing really meshing together. You have been warned. If you proceed, you do so at your own mental risk.:::

Music of the moment: Too Much Rain : ATB

So, you get to see a sampling of my �Rain Songs�. *chuckles* Some of these I�ve never heard before. Like, this one. This is, well, I would qualify it as �light trance�. It�s not as involved as Oakenfeld, not as intense or technically difficult. But it has trance flavor. Kind of like Trance Meets Enya. *chuckles*

So far I like it.

Last night, I was talking with my Sympatico. As I was preparing to log off, I mentioned that I needed to go because the cold was kicking my ass, but that when I�d awakened, I would be over the cold, it would be gone. He was highly skeptical. Specifically because it seems that no one has been able to kick this nasty recent bug in less than a week. Well, HA! I kicked it. *grins* I feel much, much better and the cold is completely gone!!!

Of course, he was partially right, it wasn�t until after work and then after my nap this afternoon, that I actually got the last vestiges of this cold to flee. But I finally did it.

Music of the moment: Like The Rain : Clint Black

Anyway, what should I talk about... What is of importance to me today? Many things, I suppose... but first and foremost, I am scanning air fares for my upcoming trip to Dallas, and then subsequently Mississippi for Gulf Wars. I�ve found some extremely reasonable air fares, but then again, I don�t have a credit card, and both Charles and I have been a little iffy on whether or not we�ll actually go. So, I�m holding off until Wednesday before I book my flight.

I figure that Wednesday will still give me enough time to get a good rate, while I should be able to get my pay check by then. That way, I can wave the money beneath my father�s nose and say, here�s cash, can I use your credit card number to purchase my ticket to Dallas? *grins* I already have the credit card number. Heh.

BUT, we don�t touch daddy�s money until daddy has both given his blessing AND departed. *grins* You don�t make any mistakes there, folks. You don�t touch the big guy�s money if he�s anywhere near able to catch you. And once you do touch the money, you run your ass as far away as is humanly possible. Post haste.

Music of the moment: Bring On The Rain : Jo Dee Mesina

*chuckles* You know, I�m thinking about pausing here to go make myself some hot chocolate, or maybe hot tea. Since the weather has gone all cold and stuff, and I have my window open, there�s a faint breeze blowing against the back of my neck. It would probably be arousing were it not COLD! *grins* I don�t know, blowing against the back of my neck has never been something I find arousing. At all.

Of course, to have a man speaking to me, quietly, in my ear, and to have the brush of his breath as he talks... mmmm, that�s something else. I think because it sparks my aural receptors. Sound is very important and .... erm... anyway... Next topic?

*chuckles* Yeah, I know, so many of you who read me feel that I�m like a sister, or a good friend. I�m sure you don�t want to hear about the weird and bizarre things that turn me on. If that were the case, more of you would be leaving messages in my Email and on my Guestbook and Notes. *smirks* BUT, since most of my fans obviously can�t bring themselves to write anything, I�ll just have to go on blindly and what was I talking about?

Oh yes, sorry, I got side tracked by the song.

Seriously.

Music of the moment: Black Rain : Staind

I�m not kidding. Since I can type with my eyes closed and can keep my fingers going even when my mind isn�t engaged, sometimes my thoughts will transmogrify themselves onto the screen while my actual concentration is on something else. That happens often. Quite often.

As for this song, which I�ve never heard before... the intro sucks, as it�s just a bunch of sounds, someone getting up on stage and setting up to play. But as soon as the guitar starts... I�m hooked.

Mmmmm... Scuse me, I�m tuning out to listen.

Oooohhhh, I like. lots and lots. This is an acoustic, just the lead singer of Staind, and his guitar. He plays like I do. I don�t sing like that, but damn... very, very good.

Just the words and some simple guitar accompaniment.

Music of the moment: Why Does It Always Rain On Me : Travis

Woah, that was so very cool. I really liked that. Anyway, so this song... Hmmmm, interesting. Kind of a Dave Mathews meets REM meets Beetles meets Morrisy.

Yeah, I know, strange combination, but it�s true. Music is REMish. With a little Beetles chord progression thing going on. Voice is like Dave Mathews with some Morrisy undertones. I like it, but it�s very eclectic. Oooh and there�s some sweet cello stuff too. Very nice. But it will take a little getting used to.

Hmmmm, so what should I fill up this entry with, hmm? Of course, at the end of the song he repeats �Why does it always rain on me?� And I get the urge to say... �Cause you�re outside without an umbrella, duffus.�

*smiles sweetly*

Music of the moment: Sash : Carl Cox and Oakenfeld

Okay, heading into the Trance stuff again. I can just zone on the music and let the words flow from my fingers.

On one of the boards I frequent... Stoogeville (if you�re interested in reading the stuff, click on the �Anything and almost Everything� link. That�s the message board which isn�t strictly gaming)

Anyway, on the Stoogeville board, the question was raised, �Is Bin Laden dead?�. There were a few people who thought that yeah, he was dead. Others were like, yeah, woohoo, party. Not quotes, but ya get the gist.

My thought is this... (and the point I made on the board) It seems to me that he was a pretty good terrorist. I mean, he did his job pretty well. There hasn�t been anyone else who was able to snooker the US like that. God forbid anyone else would ever try... but I mean, he had to be good at least to some degree. And he had money. Plenty of it, too. So, if he was smart and rich, wouldn�t he have a back up/get away plan?

Just because we haven�t heard anything out of him in a while doesn�t mean he�s dead. I wouldn�t count him out until I saw his dead body and it was positively identified, beyond any shadow of a doubt. If his body were found smashed into a million tiny pieces, I�d want every piece tested for a DNA match, double and triple tested.

Of course, I don�t have the finances for that, nor do I have the knowledge, but I would want to know, beyond any shred of doubt, that he were really and truly dead. And I would want to be damned sure that it was really, really him.

I fall back on a line my friend Charles has used many times. I always laugh when he says it, but not because I don�t agree. I just think the line is funny in it�s absolute truth. So, I say now... Just because you�re paranoid, doesn�t mean they�re not out to get you.

I reiterate... Just because you�re paranoid, doesn�t mean they�re not out to get you. And the �not� is supposed to be there. Sometimes paranoia is justified. And in the case of Bin Laden, I think paranoia is not just justified, but should be encouraged. After all, this is a man who planned and devised the deaths of more than 5000 people. The potential was there for ten times that number.

Yes, you heard me, ten times that number. The amount of people who work/visit/shop in the World Trade Center on a daily basis is approximately 50,000. And, the attack on the pentagon?

Music of the moment: Delirium : Sarah McLaughlan and Oakenfeld

Do you realize that with at least two offices closed due to renovations, quite a few people were spared.

Then, I turn my thoughts to the warnings. I�ve heard talk that the US had warning of some major terrorist attacks planned for New Years day. Someone wasn�t paranoid enough. I�m dead serious. We in the US automatically figured that New Years was the current calendar version. That on January 1st, 2002, someone was going to attack. But no...

September 11th, 2001 was New Years day according to the Hebrew calendar. I�m sure that there are some paranoid individuals out there who are wandering around in their tinfoil hats saying, �I told you so, I told you so, I told you so.�

Just because you�re paranoid doesn�t mean they�re not out to get you.

How do I propose to answer all the questions, have all the gates guarded, have everything on full alert and still move forward in life? I don�t. I haven�t the foggiest idea how to keep this from happening again. I haven�t the foggiest idea how to keep people alive and make sure that no one hurts another American like this again.

However, I know of people who do have some very, very good answers. One of them is Richard Marcinko. There are some people in the Military whose objective it is to provide a safe environment for their fellow Americans, rather than furthering their careers.

I don�t mean that the American Military Services are filled with a bunch of idiotic and pathetic panty-waists, but I do think that a large portion of the higher-ups have been advancing their careers so long that they don�t know what it was like to be doing the actual work. I think that a lot of the higher-ups don�t understand what it is to see the death your decisions cause.

Ooohh, and that slides me into another topic, aren�t you lucky?

What happens when someone realizes that death is not something you can magically fix? Death is not a game. It�s not some instantaneous passing on to something bigger and better, leaving you the opportunity to come back if you don�t like it. Uh uh. Sorry, wrong answer, fido.

Death is an end.

Music of the moment: Unafraid : Jan Johnston and Oakenfeld

What happens when someone who doesn�t understand the concept of death, gets a gun and starts shooting people, hmm? Is he responsible for his actions, even if he didn�t know that they couldn�t be taken back?

Okay, so that doesn�t really make a whole hell of a lot of sense, does it?

What I�m getting at is this... there are people out there in the world who really do believe that guns are toys. I�m not talking about gang banger wannabes here, they know that guns are not toys, they just choose to use them with poor or no judgment or forethought.

I�m talking about little kids who get guns when they�re three and four years old, but are not told about gun responsibility. Yeah, so I�m rambling about a topic no one cares about... so what?

I think about my nephew in this instance. He got guns as toys. He played with them a lot. And whenever he did something wrong, his mother would take the gun and throw it away. She had fits every so often about relatives not giving him guns as toys. (toy guns, not real ones). The thing that bugs me? Her reaction. She was not interested in instructing her child, she just took the toy away.

She didn�t take the gun away because of a mistake or lack of responsibility with the GUN, she took the gun away for whatever slight the boy had committed, whether it was insolence, disobedience, or mistake in general.

Music of the moment: Every Time : Lustral and Oakenfeld

Don�t get me wrong here, she is not now a cold or heartless mother. She is not now a mother who doesn�t give a shit about her kids. But there was a time when she was so immersed in her own personal pain and difficulty, that she wasn�t making the most reasonable decisions in her household.

Regardless, the point I�m trying to make here is that I believe she handled the problem in the wrong way. I believe that when someone makes a mistake, be they child or adult, the punishment for said mistake should fit said mistake. If the person didn�t signal when they had intended to turn, they should receive a minor slap on the signal finger or something... Maybe have their wrist tied, with a piece of thread, to the signal switch so they are reminded.

If a person makes a simple mistake, there should be a simple, but immediate, correction for that mistake. Not necessarily a �punishment� per se, but a correction. When someone makes a big mistake, or does something wrong on purpose, they should be corrected according to the severity and reasons behind the crime.

I�m reminded of the judge somewhere other than in my area. I don�t remember where he is... but I remember that he got national coverage a few times because his punishments were so... effective. Severe? Yes. Effective? I think he had a 98% non-recidivism rate. Meaning that out of all his cases, only 2% were repeat offenders.

What did he do? Well, there was a young lady (teen) who was found guilty of shop lifting. She was sentenced to stand for an 8 hour period, wearing a sign which stated what she stole, who she stole from and that this was her punishment. She was required to wear this sign outside the store. If my memory isn�t totally screwed, she was also told to assist people by carrying their groceries and such.

Music of the moment: New Born : Oakenfeld

I think there was a young man who was convicted of breaking into some specific store or something..... maybe he was convicted of spraying graffiti. Anyway, he was made to spend a few hours every day for something like two weeks, cleaning up the store fronts and helping customers, all the while wearing a sign stating what he had done.

This brings to mind the concept which was brought up a while back in regard to child abuse and what is or isn�t abuse. One of the ladies commented that forcing a child to stand in the corner was abusive, shaming them and humiliating them. But I wonder, in light of the above...

Yes, being forced to wear a sign around your neck saying that you stole money and that you can�t be trusted... that�s very definitely shaming. But you know what it brings to mind? She didn�t ever, do it again. The punishment was enough to stop the bad behavior. But it wasn�t severe enough to send her into an emotional spiral to the point where she became a homeless gutter blob, feeling as if she were worthless.

So, I wonder... shame and humiliation... if you�ve done something wrong, shouldn�t you feel at least a faint sense of shame and humiliation?

Music of the moment: Lapdance : Oakenfeld

(yuck, don�t like this song so far, I�m going to make a cup of hot chocolate, be right back -- this song is way too much like gangsta rap to me... fuckin this and fuckin that. icky)

Music of the moment: The Dream Traveler - Time : Oakenfeld

So, if spanking or standing in the corner is wrong because it teaches humiliation and shames a child, how is a child going to learn about the price of doing something wrong? I completely agree that a child should be taught with bonuses rather than negatives. I believe that whenever possible a child should be rewarded for doing the right thing. But I have not yet met any child who was raised without punishments who was well rounded and well behaved.

I have absolutely no intention, whatsoever, to �beat� my children when I finally have some. BUT, I also am not going to sit idly by and watch them grow up in a world without directing them on how to behave and comport themselves. I am not foolish enough to think that children come already raised.

So a tentative, projected list of errant behaviors and the punishments I would mete out:

Under the age of four I�m not sure, as it depends largely on my children�s ability to understand the difference between right and wrong, AND their own comprehension/ability to take responsibility for their actions. In some things, stealing a cookie, a kid under four understands s/he�s not supposed to have the cookie. In some others, the kid just doesn�t understand what they did wrong. Therefore, these little tidbits are basically for kids around four or five to about eight or nine.

I figure for something as innocent as a simple mistake, spilling a glass of milk, running through the house due to excitement, something like that. The first offense would probably be a look with the shake of my head. The second offense would probably bring with the above a softly spoken, �No, You know better.� Third offense would most likely be a snagging of the child, grabbing him up around the waist as he tried running past, holding him in my arms until he�d calmed down enough to focus on my eyes and words, and then a quiet, but firm, �Stop. No running in the house.�

What do I know about being a mother and having to raise children? Not much. I�ve never raised my own children, obviously, since I don�t have any. However, I have done baby-sitting for many different types of children. I have watched over the child who will do anything you say just because he�s a good kid. I�ve cared for the type of child who will do what you say, but wants to test the boundaries sometimes. I�ve watched the type of child who will ignore what you say just because he�s too wrapped up in his own wants to care about what you say. I�ve watched the type of child who thinks it�s a game to see just how far they can push you, but they�re not intentionally pissing you off, just trying to push until they reach the limit. I�ve watched the type of child who refuses to do what you say because you said it and he will be damned before he bucks under to your rule.

There are a few variants of children between those levels, but those are the main types of children I have been required to care for and protect.

My favorite... *smiles sadly* Was Mikey. He was two years old and so very tender and sweet. He was the type of child who would do anything for you because it was fun. He would do anything you told him to just to prove that he was a big boy and could do things that made you smile. He was very definitely the most sweet, loving and gentle child I have yet seen. No lie.

I told my mother, during my �I will never have children� phase, that if I could be guaranteed all my children would be like Mikey, I�d have 10 of em.

I truly miss him. More than I�ve ever missed any child. And it breaks my heart that his mother is such a ...... *clamps her mouth shut tight* I�ll keep my value judgments to myself.

*sighs*

Anyway, My niece is the second type. She�ll do anything for ya, but she wants to push the boundaries every once in a while. My nephew is the third type. He ignores what you say because he�s so wrapped up in his own world. And when you finally get his attention, he slips into fourth type quite quickly. He wants to push the limits, push the boundaries.

My brother was the fifth type.

When I was a small child, I was type one. I slipped into type two at about 16 or so, when I met my biological father.

My mother has told me that I will have children just like me. I�m not sure about that. I know that there are many nice people as parents who don�t have such nice kids. I want nice kids.

Now that I�ve taken the headphones off and am looking at this entry I shake my head. Ugh, if any of you have actually made it all the way through this, I applaud you. This was a majorly fragged up entry. Like a cyclone in it�s sporadic, hit and miss style. If it could actually be called a style.

Anyway, I�m closing this now because, well, because I�m closing it, so there.

Peace unto thy hearts, all.