Lame-o entry cause I'm tired and have to build my company site...

I'm just gonna fill this with sayings, quotes and silly little nothings because I want a new entry but I don't really have anything to say.

We'll see if I can't prove Uncle Bob right or wrong. *chuckles* He is of the opinion that one should not begin an entry without having a topic. We'll see if I can't just prove the Pimple-picking Putz wrong. *chuckles*

Actually, I do this all the time, and as Malkie-poo says, I get to be quite long-winded at times. *smirks* So, be prepared for an entry to rival epic sagas and shakespearian plays. Equally as difficult to follow in some places. *smirks*

BUT, there is one truth that remains. ALL MUST LOVE ME!!!

*clears her throat* Ahem... just had a Queenly moment there. So sorry.

I've done this quite often as a free write. Just starting with what I"m seeing in my room or something and then going off on a series of tangents. And since I'm gifted with the long-winded-ness of the gods I figure this is as good a time as any to fill this page with worthless and unfounded words of humor, depression and description.

So... This is what I see in my room. My dog to my right, (Im' sitting on my bed, looking at my computer with the keyboard on my pillow on my lap) and he's snoring beside me. He's soft and furry and brown, white and tan. The sweetest little cocker spaniel puppy you've ever met.

The last time I had a Cocker was when I was 20. I got Pepper, my Black and Tan Cocker, Black Pepper Feather Paws. She was sweet and tender and my best friend. I got her for my 10th birthday.

I was sitting on the passenger seat of my Mom's little car. My brother was in the back. mom went into this house and came back out a while later carrying a small box. She set the box on my lap and told me NOT to look in the box.

I sat there, little, ten year old, holding this box, listening to little whimpers and scratchings, not looking in the box. the curiosity was tantamount to Mt Olympus. But I was a good girl. I didn't look.

When Mom got back in the car, she told me I could look in the box. *smiles tenderly* My eyes beheld the most perfect face in the world. That little, tiny puppy looked up at me, her black and tan face, those tiny eyes blinking up at me. It was like the Pernese Impression (Anne McCaffrey's Dragon Rider's of Pern series). I could hear the world in her tiny whimper. I could see my life in her little eyes. I could feel my heart expanding to be Puppy size.

Oh... people. I wish everyone could sometime understand that perfection. Oh... *sighs, closing her eyes and smiling so very softly* it was perfect. And she slept on my bed. Shared my pillow with me. She would curl up beside me. I swear she was the embodiment of everything pure and whole.

My parents still comment... they never heard me laugh with such joy until I got Pepper. Seriously. I was a very serious child. I didn't laugh very often, and everything I did was highly controled. I've always had a very high sense of personal control. But when I got Pepper... I felt unadultrated joy. A whole and pure life filling me. Love like I'd never felt before.

I knew that Pepper would love me and rely on me for everything and anything. That she would NEVER choose someone else over me. *smiles tenderly*

I remember one day when I'd fallen in our backyard. Pepper was nowhere to be found when this happened. But I fell, didn't scream out, but I was in pain. And a few tears came sliding down my cheeks. No whimpers, no cries. Just the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Inside two minutes she was at my side, looking up into my eyes. With the most tender look, she reached her nose up toward me, licked the tears from my cheeks, and then laid down at my side, resting her head on my thigh. She was pure and gentle and the most tender friend I've ever had. Ever.

I swear there was a little person inside her. There's no other explanation for it. She was so real. She understood everything I said. She could anticipate what I wanted and do and be where I needed her to be before I needed it. It was strange and uncanny...

*chuckles quietly*

Joey's getting there. He's only four and a half months old, right now, but he's getting there. He loves me and chooses me. And he doesn't like being separated from me. *smiles tenderly*

I really like that.

And I know that he's going to be extremely jealous when I have a child. But, by then, he should be over it... Or maybe not.

Anyway... I think I've said enough...

wild tangents and all. And Joey needs to go outside.

I'll be back later.

Love ya, mine dahlinks.

J