Tunes to tune a tuna to: Yankovic, Oakenfeld, Clapton, Alan Jackson, Toby Keith and Dixie Chicks.

And yes, I�m quite disturbed tonight. Heh. Listening to Yankovic right off the bat to set the mood. My back is a million times better. Thank you so very, very much for your prayers and well wishes. I�m able to stand up without crying. There�s a little stiffness in my back but no pain, or rather, no greater pain than usual. It�s all good now. *grins*

So, I just listened to a sermon tape, sorta. It�s actually supposed to be a tape of various testimonies. I�m usually not into things like that. I really, really bugs me when people get up and give their religious testimony. To me, that�s just... *shrugs* I don�t know... It seems to be an invasion of my space. Whatever they want to do, more power to them, but don�t make me listen to your stories unless you�re talking one on one with me.

Even then...

I suppose it�s like this; I�ve heard so many TBN-style/tele-evangelists prattling on about how important God is while as they turn around there�s a different face. I hate the bullshit of most religion. I really hate it.

I suppose that�s partially evidenced by my absence of going to church. *shrugs*

Anyway... It bugs the crap out of me to see someone else telling me how I�m supposed to worship God. I�ve had that happen to me too many times. How do they know? When were they living inside my life? When were they in my body? I�d like to know. For those who are male, living inside my body... IT DOESN�T WORK THAT WAY, BUBBA!

Ahem... Sorry.

*smiles sweetly*

Seriously, however, I�m really sick and tired of those who think that in order to talk about God and religious issues, they must convert someone. It pisses me off when people think that because I don�t observe their specific formulas and traditions that I don�t know anything about the Bible or God.

I know for a fact that I don�t know it all. I know for a fact that I don�t have all the answers, but I damned sure don�t need someone else telling me that their way is the only way. I�ve been involved in religion for more than 30 years. No lie. I�m not a novice.

Again, I don�t consider myself well read, I don�t consider myself to be any kind of authority on religious matters. But I know for sure I don�t need to be converted. Atop that, I don�t need to convert anyone else either.

So there.

I remember being in college in Seattle. There was a group of people who wanted to get together to have occasional Bible studies and prayer groups. I thought this would be a good thing. During the first meeting, they started asking me about my testimony. I said I didn�t have one. They were shocked. They asked me how I converted people. I said it wasn�t my responsibility to convert people, that was God�s job.

That worked into a two hour session of why I needed to be saved and that I needed to renounce my previous church affiliation and that I was going to hell if I didn�t capitulate; which resulted in my making up some excuse and leaving. Two of my very good and very trusted friends were a part of that group. I didn�t speak to them for a long time.

From that experience, I believe I gained a tremendous respect for other people�s religions. At the time I was attacked in such a manner, I had already been involved with a church and Bible study longer than most who were attacking me. And they didn�t think they were attacking. They just wanted to be sure that I was saved.

*rolls her eyes*

So, this is part of what has formed my strident and urgent belief that if you don�t worship God the way I do, that�s between you and God. It�s not my business until your form of worship directly effects my life or the lives of those I cherish. (basically that means that if your form of worship involves danger to those I cherish, your ass is grass. *smiles sweetly*) You can bet your ass I�m going to get involved in your religion if you�re using my family for bait.

*clears her throat once again* Ahem.

Uh, where was I? Oh yes...

Heh

I have a personal and individual relationship with God. We talk one on one. We both take turns talking, we both take turns listening. I love my God and He loves me. He is my constant companion and He always has time for me, no matter how big or small the problem. When there are no problems, He has time to listen to me prattle on about my day or something completely inconsequential. He is my best friend. *chuckles*

But, I don�t expect everyone to have the same relationship with Him as I do. Nor do I expect everyone else to choose a relationship with Him. If you choose not to believe in God, that�s great for you. As long as your unbelief doesn�t turn my family and loved ones into bait, we�re cool. (And yes, now I am one of my loved ones.)

If you choose to believe there is no god in any form, be it the God I believe in or any other form of religious icon, great. Do what works for you. I won�t tell you that God exists in your world. If you believe He doesn�t, then, He doesn�t.

And this is where my life philosophy and my religious philosophy cross. ===perhaps I should say my new life philosophy===

You are only limited by what you believe. Therefore, if you believe there is no god, there isn�t one in your world. Your beliefs only effect your world. Just as my beliefs only effect my world.

I suppose I can�t say this is where my religious and life philosophies cross, cause they�re sort of intertwined. *chuckles* But, my relationship with God is a daily, hourly, secondly thing. Not just something I do one day of the week.

But, I�ll save that tangent for a little later... Let�s stick to the point tonight, Jennifer. *smirks* ===this might turn into a multi-post entry, heh. I�m only on page three of my word processing program and there�s a lot of music set up in Winamp... it�s only 5:40. I could be writing for a loooooooong time. *grins*===

So, you�re only limited by what you believe. This is my life philosophy and works very well for me. It might not work for you. You might need to believe that there is only one reality, there is only one world, and that everyone is held by the same rules and regulations. If that�s what works for you, great, go for it. For me, however, I hate being restricted by rules someone else thinks I must abide by. Heh.

And I don�t believe in worshipping God in a traditional sense. I don�t dress up in �church� clothes any longer. I don�t go one day a week to a church building or service out of some sense of tradition and �that�s the way it must be done�. I don�t follow the rules because people say I should follow the rules. I used to. I grew up in that kind of a church world.

I just don�t subscribe to that anymore. I�m more interested in the REAL relationship, not the traditional �this is how we build a Christian house� so to speak.

So many people out there seem to think that if you don�t go to church, you�re not a Christian. Many people seem to think that if you don�t try to convert people, you�re not a Christian. Well... I don�t agree.

I believe that churches were set up, by people, to be a place where those of like mind could gather without having to fight with everyone else. I believe that those who need to have that social interaction, they should go to church. Find one that fits what you believe and what you need. But the real religious part... the real relationship (in my world) is with God, not with some preacher.

That�s not to say that preachers or churches are bad. If there were a church around here that believed the way I do, then I�d attend. But there isn�t. In fact, I haven�t yet found any church that believes the way I do. Perhaps, I should start one, hmmm?

Interesting thought. But one for later too.

So anyway, I don�t have anything against churches or religious groups in general. What works for you works for you. Don�t force me, and we�ll be fine.

I do believe in the Saturday Sabbath, and most people in this world of Christianity don�t. It�s not that they don�t believe that Saturday is the seventh day of the week, but they just... well, I don�t know. They just go to church on Sunday. Whatever.

For me, I have to see evidence of what I recognize as the Holy Spirit in a church or group. If the Holy Spirit isn�t there... I�m not welcome. There have been many groups I socialized with, both in and out of the church I attended from near infancy through age 24 or so.

I remember one specific day, when I was becoming more aware of my own belief system (the growing awareness started with hints at about age 10, but didn�t actually kick in until after 18), what I believed versus what I was told to believe... I was about 18 or so. I remember sitting there in the building we met in. There were people milling about in the lobby, talking, enjoying themselves and being friendly toward each other.

I watched them... They were all strangers. I knew very little about them. I thought that if I had grown up in this church, if I had attended and socialized with these people for the majority of my young life, why didn�t I know more about them?