I have been asked, by one of the founders of the BBW club to write up a summary/essay about truly accepting one�s own self. She was looking for confident BBWs, so I, Yes... figure the odds, I messaged her wanting to know what she needed.

She�s putting together a website for the club and she wants some comments from the more confident and self-accepting among the club members. When I heard about that, I simply had to take part. I�m all for being a part of something which helps another person truly accept who and what they are. And, I�ve had nearly two years practice figuring out who I am. *chuckles* Amazing, isn�t it?

Regardless, I really want to write up this pseudo testimony. Partially in order to assist other people who struggle against societally accepted standards in regard to their physical appearance; and partially to have a record of how I stopped thinking fat. So, you�re my test subjects. The founder needs this little essay by the middle of the week, so I�m going to do my best to write it out today and take comments, critiques.

I want this little essay to come off as being confident without being preachy (Yeah, I know, Good luck) yet have an informational quality. Now, in school I never was required to do informative essays. speeches, sure, but not essays. And even when I was required to do something like that, I didn�t really put much effort into it. My first and last research paper was not very good at all. I got a passing grade on it only because it was typed. *chuckles*

Can you believe that? Me, the person so verbose..... Well yeah, I guess that�s easy to believe. Having the proclivity to write does not mean one writes well. *chuckles* Anyway, I�m going to be making this up as I go along, bear with me if it�s not up to snuff when I post it, but don�t just read it and say �yeah, whatever� If you have comments, let me know. I want this little essay to be informative, informational and gentle.

As a side note... I suppose this could be considered a �testimony�. To me, this is what Testimonies are for. To offer a view of my experience and what I�ve learned because of it; in order for someone else to see/read and understand that perhaps they�re not alone and that there is definitely hope for them. Anyway, let us move forward.

First and foremost I would like to thank Lady Philosophy for giving me the opportunity to share a part of my life with all who may choose to read. Secondly, I would like to thank those of you who are reading this. Third, I would like to introduce myself.

I am Jennifer Davis. My most commonly used screen name/online nickname is TigreFatalis, though I�ve gone by BurntTiger since �97. I�ve written many things under many different pseudonyms, but the most common and my �serious� writing pseudonym is D. S. Vic. If you�ve seen any of those names around the �Net in the past four and a half years-- Well, they�re all me.

The purpose of this little essay/life story is to show all who are interested, that it is possible to love who and what you are even after a long time of self loathing; to share my own personal opinions in regard to being clinically overweight; and to help anyone out there who believes they aren�t worthy of happiness, love, attention, romance, devotion, tenderness and/or peace due to their physical appearance.

In my experience, there are a few different �types� of clinically overweight people, but there are two primary sects, so to speak. One of those sects is the group of clinically overweight people who have been seen on trash-talk shows - Springer doesn�t have a �talk show�. He hosts a �trash-talk show - those who are confident and even brazen about their size.

This first group seems to be extremely confident and even a little cocky but they know who and what they are and don�t let anyone else �make� them feel less than. The reason they are a separate sect: They have always had this internal knowledge. They have never been inhibited or ultra self-conscious.

I am not a part of this first group. I admire the spunk - I know, I�m dating myself by using that word - of these men and women who have always known their worth is strictly their business. In my opinion, a large portion of these people grew up in societies and cultures where self acceptance was taught from a young age.

My main focus, however, is on the second main sect of clinically overweight people; those who started out being embarrassed, ashamed or have thought less of themselves due to their size. I am a member of this group. I have spent a large part of my life believing that there was something wrong with me, or that I was somehow bad because I was bigger than the people around me.

I don�t feel that way any longer but this is not something I learned years ago, my maturity and self-acceptance are quite new.

I'll finish this some other time. Heh. Too tired to mess with it anymore.