Who is the Lord my God?

I was recently asked why I believe the things I do in regard to Christianity. It is difficult for me to put my faith into words. Why do I believe what I do? I believe because I have felt the touch of God. I have heard His voice. I have seen change in my life that I couldn�t affect of my own volition.

One must always have a starting point therefore I should begin with a brief summary of what I believe.

� I believe that God exists.

� I believe that He has a son most call Jesus, and that they are Father and Son and God.

� I believe that by accepting my Lord�s sacrifice, I receive access to the Holy Spirit, have the gift, outright, of eternal life and have Jesus living within me.

� I believe that the Holy Spirit is a tangible power; and that I can use it.

� And finally, I believe that everyone in this world has the right to a personal relationship with God. Whether or not they choose to develop that relationship is strictly their choice.

For the purpose of simplicity, I am going to arrange this paper according to my beliefs. I will state the belief, expound upon it if necessary and then state the reasons for each belief. It is my purpose to explain why I believe what I do, rather than to attempt to convert someone to my point of view.

There are a few biases I should make you aware of before getting into the meat of this essay. I spent the first twenty years of my life attending a fundamentalist church group. I sometimes forget that other people don�t have the same background, thus don�t have the same experiential reference points. I was almost twenty-one years old before I understood that there wasn�t only one right way to worship God.

I do not believe that I have been called to a ministry of conversion. Therefore, the purpose of my paper is not to persuade you to my �side�, the purpose of my paper is to offer you a glimpse of who I am, what I believe and why. I believe that I have no business telling someone else what they are doing right or wrong. Matt 7:1-6 is largely why I choose not to judge others. Jesus told me not to.

If my words give you a reason to do your own research and discover your own truth about God, my time has not been wasted. I am not, however, a �Bible Thumper�. I do not believe in pointing out scriptures and telling someone else what they must change about their lives. Nor do I believe in pointing out what I�m doing right. I believe that Jesus meant it when He said, �Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.� There are no stones in my hand.

Finally, I believe that each person in this world creates their own version of reality. What is real to me may not be real to someone else. For instance, I detest the taste of fish. In my world, fish is inedible. To my parents, however, fish is a treat; a delicacy, if you will. We share a world, but our beliefs don�t mesh. My parents believe fish is food. I believe fish is bait.

I believe that God exists

There are many people who have questioned me about the existence of God. I have received questions about whether or not there is an all-powerful being and whether or not a �god� can exist if there are evil people in this world. One person told me that I had created God within my own mind. Many years ago, however, a friend of mine would engage me in philosophical debates. His favorite topic was that of God. His favorite theory was that we were all characters in a dream and when God woke, we would cease to exist.

Why do I believe God exists? I feel Him. I feel Him in the music I listen to; in the air around me; in the ground beneath my feet; in the ocean waves. I believe God exists because of experiences in my life. I have prayed and had those prayers answered. I have witnessed miracles.

When I was approximately fifteen years old, I had a miraculous experience. I had a dog I loved with all my heart. She had been my constant companion for nearly seven years. She was truly my best friend, and she would sleep on my bed, with her head upon my pillow.

In the wee hours of one early morning I woke. I looked to my side where my dog was and noticed that my left arm was across her throat. She was on her back with her mouth open slightly and she wasn�t moving.

I moved quickly, but as I sat up she didn�t move. Panic settled into my heart as I felt her paws, pressed my hand to her chest and listened for her breathing. She was silent, unmoving, completely unresponsive and cold to the touch.

I started crying and praying at the same time. I lifted her into my arms and shook her gently but with no response. My words fell from my mouth as tears rolled down my cheeks. I begged God to wake her up. I pleaded. I told God that I couldn�t survive without her; that I needed her. I just sat there, rocking her back and forth, sobs pouring out of me. I remember my words as if I�d spoken them last night. �God, don�t let her be dead. Please, don�t let her be dead. I can�t live without her, just don�t let her be dead.�

Nearly twenty minutes passed between the time I woke and the time I felt her stirring. She didn�t whimper or whine or shake out of my grasp. She just stretched her muzzle toward me and started gently licking at my tears. I immediately started thanking God. I held her close to me, continued rocking and crying, and praised God for having resurrected my dog.

You may think it was simply a coincidence. You may think that time was altered due to shock. You may think that I just don�t remember the details of that night accurately. I, however, believe that my dog was dead when I woke up. I believe that God listened to my heart-felt pain and granted a second life to my companion. I believe that she was literally resurrected and that God did it.

Another reason for my belief in His existence came when I was in college in Seattle. To keep this brief, I had had an extremely difficult few months. I was deep in despair and so very lonely. I felt abandoned, my family was far enough away that I couldn�t turn to them for the support I needed. I was failing out of my classes, growing more depressed and only eating what I could afford; approximately two meals a week.

In the pits of this depression, I woke from an incredibly real and terrifying dream. I stumbled out to the living room and curled up in the corner of the couch, rocking myself back and forth. I quietly prayed, not expecting an answer. I told God that I was terrified and alone. I believe I was crying. I told Him that I couldn�t handle this living alone thing and all I wanted was a hug. All I wanted, I prayed, was to be held for a while.

At the close of my prayer, I just stared out the window, rocking and crying silently. I then felt two warm bands of strength wrap around me. I was gently and lovingly rocked, and the warmth continued. It felt like two invisible arms wrapped around my torso and arms.

You may think it was a hallucination, but I truly believe God, as Jesus, held me that early morning. He held me until I fell asleep. I have no physical evidence of this, I simply experienced it. I believe.