I�ve noticed a trend as of late. I�ve been spending a lot of time alone. I�ve been spending a lot of time being silent. I haven�t been unhappy or anything like that, but I think this is not a good trend anyway.

I haven�t been going online very much. I haven�t been writing in this diary much at all, obviously. That doesn�t mean I haven�t been on the computer. I just haven�t been doing anything overtly productive. In fact, I�m not sure that I�ve been doing anything covertly productive.

Still and all, I�m not writing the way I want to be. At first, I thought it was because I was going through the phenomenon so many others have experienced; that of not having anything to write in a diary unless there�s a �major� or �bad� experience to get across. Granted, my life is good and there is a wonderful absence of negativity, but there are still things I need to express.

For the past month and a little, I have been spending three days a week going with my sister to work out. This means that I have been listening to her communicate her mind vocally. This, I believe, is one reason I haven�t been writing much.

I am of the opinion that there comes a time when people have just heard enough, and since this is my preferred medium of communication, I believe that there are times when someone has read enough of my sob stories. I don�t particularly want to sound like my sister. I don�t want to have people cringe at the sound of my voice, so to speak.

I don�t outwardly cringe, but I just get so tired of the sound of her voice sometimes. I�ve heard so many complaints from her, that even if she isn�t complaining, the sound of her voice implies complaint. I know that she and I are not the same and I know that we come at problems differently, but the more she talks about her life, the less I want to communicate to anyone about mine.

This leads me to the problem I now face; the more I hear, the less I want to express. Thus I don�t deal with the thoughts rumbling around in my brain. I don�t type, I don�t communicate through written form. I have heard enough, thus I don�t �speak�.

Does that make any sense?