Ooooooohh, short entry yesterday. I'm so sorry to those of you who were looking for another long-winded entry ala Fatal Tiger style. *chuckles*

Well... I've been thinking a lot about making choices and such... about choosing to live your life the way you want it to turn out. About admitting what you want and committing.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find what you want when you don't know what it is? You might have a good idea... hell, you might have a great idea, but do you know the specifics of what you want?

For instance... Do you want a new computer? What kind? What little extras? What speed? Do you want DVD? Do you want a Zip drive? CD burner? 3.44 Floppy drive? Dual hard drives? Sound card? What do you want?

If you want a new computer... then research it. find out what you can get and what you want. THEN ask for it.

Hell, simply asking for a new computer could garner you someone else's used computer. It would be new to you...

So, what do I really want to discuss? I'm sitting up here in my room, listening to the horses ka-thunk ka-thunk ka-thunk past on the street. The sun was bright today and it was beautiful.

I figure that since certain ones haven't written in two weeks, and log off as soon as I try to send a message to them... the friendship has been done away with. At least on his end.

*shrugs* So be it. I would rather that weren't the story, but I have a life and I have to live it. He has obviously made a choice. *chuckles* I may whine and moan incessantly in this diary, but I don't stalk people.

Bryan has my Email addresses. All of them. He has my website addresses, all of them. He has my phone number and physical addy, as well as my PO Box addy. If he chooses to contact me, great.

But, my decision stands. I have more respect for myself now. I will not mourn a relationship with a man who can not commit to me. I will not mourn a decision made by someone else. And, I will not cry another tear for something futile. I am alive. And I'm climbing that cliff side. I've started the second section. I wonder how much I'll see when I get to the top of that one.

*chuckles quietly*

Anyway... Tiger's got a lot going on in her life. Seems she just recently made it on another Top Ten list. *chuckles quietly* She has a way of drawing attention to herself.

Melissa has a few things to say too... And she's going to be leaving us in a little bit. But she'll be back too. I miss her already.

Forvalaka posted his answers to a few questions I sent him a while back. If you haven't checked it out yet, do so. It should be entertaining at the least...

My Addiction has been posting some really intense stuff lately. Obviously he's dealing with some of the demons that plague us all at times. Tho I would estimate his demons, accompanied by his own fears and concepts, are running amok... dropping off a little doubt here, a little irritation there, and a lot of confusion.

I must say, Monstre is just too cool to be believed. I love reading her and I really enjoy it when she expresses herself so very well.

I really, really urge all of you to read Marn's diary. The way she communicates her thoughts, feelings and ideas... she is a woman I really, really admire. Please read her diary, folks. She expresses her ideas and concepts clearly. And I can envision myself in the places she describes.

Hell, I could almost see the frogs as she was laying another stone... *smiles softly* Marn, you really hit me in those soft gushy places. And I like it. Thank you.

And, hey folks... You MUST check out Jessica's diary. I love her comments and insights, and she is a very good friend of mine. Of course, I'm not all that sure how good a friend I am to her. I mean, hell... there are pleanty of times when I'm sure I've pissed her off by stomping all over her toes... Oh, wait... No, that wasn't me. *chuckles*

Actually, Jessica used to live out here in Washington State. And for some, stupid, gawdaweful reason, she moved to fricking North Carolina. Of course, that might have something to do with the fact that her Husband and Daughter are there...

*thinks*

Naw, that couldn't be it. She moved because she wanted to meet me online and vacationing in my hometown wasn't a good enough way to do it.

*grins*

Oh, and a plug for myself... If you know of anyone who is interested in purchasing a commercial website, but doesn't know how to build it, what to put on a site, or how to handle the mechanics of the thing... refer them to me, please? Either ask them to write me at Davis Productions or refer them to my own commercial Site. I do not charge for my services.

If your friend/relative/whatever is interested in purchasing a website, those are purchased through my Associate Site and I do not receive any money from the sale of these sites.

I do suggest donations for my time and effort, but it is a donation. Just ask them to check out the site, or you check out the site and report to them. I have details and the like there.

Again, I would really like to draw your attention to the Charity Frogs. (the green button to the left) For each person, every day, who clicks on the link, they will donate a dollar to the American Red Cross. Up to a million bucks. And they're trying to reach this goal by the first of July.

There is now, almost 500,000 bucks amassed for the ARC. There is information on Charity Frogs and on this specific project as well as others they are involved in. Please help this wonderful charity association.

Each of you can click once a day between now and then. And please, put a Charity Frogs button on your own page. On your diaries, on your personal sites, let people know about it, folks. This is something that can really help our communities.

I was reading Uncle Bob's diary today. And looking at his question of the day... He'd asked if there were anything we'd really protest, fight against... He's against guns. *shakes her head* The poor man... just doesn't understand. *laughs*

But of all the choices out there... all the things to be for or against... my big one is infidelity. I know that's not a political issue or anything like that... but still... it's a really major deal to me.

Of course... anyone whose been keeping up with this diary, knows very well that I'm against infidelity. Real or implied, for that matter.

I believe that sex is sacred. It is something that is meant for husbands and wives. Not boyfriends and girlfriends, not guys and many chicks, or chicks and many guys. I don't believe in serial monogomy. (being in many exclusive relationships in your life, regardless as to the seriousness of said relationship.

Now, in this day-and-age, the above statement is frowned upon. People tell me, all the time, that they really love their BF/GF. That it's going to last. And that it's the only relationship they're ever going to have again. And ya know what? I hear that from the same people, many times.

I have an ex friend who believed she was faithful. And she was. Until she saw a new guy who struck her interest. She would dump the old guy and go with the new one. And on and on and on.

In my opinion, the jumping from relationship to relationship (even if there are years in between) is simply hiding the fact that you don't like the person you are and are uncomfortable.

I could be very wrong about that. Hey, I've been wrong before... but think about it... if you're finding yourself in the same position you were the last five times you had a boyfriend/girlfriend... maybe the problem is not within the other person.

Hell, I think that all my bitches are tied in to one "back bone" concept. And that concept is that we MUST take responsibility for our own lives... for our own thoughts, our own actions, our own desires.

If I don't admit to my own beliefs, how can I expect anyone else to trust and rely upon me? If I don't know what I mean, or state who and what I am... how can anyone else do so?

By the same means... If you don't know what you mean, or state who and what you are, how can anyone else do so for you? They are not in you... they are not in me...

I'm reminded of the movie "Runaway Bride" with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

She was engaged to many different men and left them at the altar almost every time. Richard Gere's main comment was that she didn't know who she was. How could she commit to someone... commit to spend the rest of her life with someone, when she didn't know who she was.

She had to figure it out. She had to learn who and what she was. When she finally had, she was able to state what she liked, what she wanted, and she was able to make a committment to someone else.

I think that's the primary reason I feel so alive now. I am discovering myself more every day.

And ya know what?

It feels really good.

Peace unto thy hearts.