I was just chatting with the ex and he was at a Pampered Chef (which sucks arse, by the by) party at the previous girlfriend�s house. You know the previous girlfriend� the one I used to call by that extremely derogatory name.

Regardless, he was there. Sign one that I should be distancing myself from him.

Then, when he called back (the previous girlfriend�s house � apartment rather � is downstairs from the Ex�s) once he was in his own apartment, we spoke for a few minutes, then someone knocked on the door. It was the current girlfriend who happens to be married to a violent man who just happens to be a little pissed off that his wife is stepping out on him. Oh, and the current girlfriend of the Ex � the one married to the jealous and violent man � is pregnant with a child who may or may not be the Ex�s progeny.

Sign two that I should be distancing myself from the ex.

Good timing too, as far as I�m concerned. If he�s getting comfy with the two women who are not healthy for him, it is a �hit me over the head with the truth� kind of answer to my previously unspoken question. Said question was, �Should I actually befriend the Ex?�

This situation, in my opinion, is a really good indication that I should, as a matter of fact, NOT befriend the ex.

Good by me. I was planning on spending the afternoon with the ex watching a two-video set, the topic of which is an expose of the Mormon church. In light of tonight�s developments, I will drop off the videos and make my excuses. I do not choose to associate with someone who willingly engages in foolish behavior. I�m the only fool in my world, baby. *grins*

Interesting what you discover through the phone, no?

*laughs quietly*

I�m thinking that I should sign up for a class at the community college during Fall term. Just one class. I might wait until Winter term, as I�m going to be out of town for almost two weeks during the middle of Fall term and that would cut into my class time. Regardless, I want to take a psych course or two. I think it would lend more fullness to the characters I write.

Dunno though. I may just look up the college online and get in touch with a counselor. They may be able to help me come to some decision or other.

Oh, and by the way, Mom� do NOT help me with this until I actually decide to do this. By this I mean, don�t remind me of my brief and fleeting interest in going back to school. I know you�re getting giddy� your toes are tingling in anticipation of being able to say �Yippee, my daughter is actually going to do something tangible with her life.� But you can�t say that yet. I�m not quite there.

*grins*

You�re more than welcome to help pay for it though. *winks*

On the serious side, I�m truly thinking about this option. I know that I have been stagnating and part of my thrust into bettering myself and my life may well include schooling. More so than just the intensive courses offered by the religious college.

I want to do that too. I want to take the intensives because I feel compelled in that direction. But � well�

Bottom line:

I don�t want to have the Ex as a friend because he is not choosing to forward his life, he is choosing to reverse his life. I can�t afford that right now. My underlying desire of getting to the �closure conversation� can be put on hold for the time being.

I want to be a better person. In order for that to actually happen, I have to move forward, not backward. I don�t want to move backward. I don�t want to stay where I am. Therefore, I have to actually get on with this living business.

Thank you, Father, for giving me an obvious and gentle closed door. I don�t want to go backward.